Asked by Anonymous

I'm 19 years old, and have been playing hockey for most of my life. My parents want me to take it professionally, but I feel no passion for it. What should I do?

Some background: I have been playing hockey since 7, and my mother even quit her job so that she can accompany me to overseas trainings and competitions. I was offered a place at an overseas team after my poly. My parents have sacrificed and invested so much for my hockey, am I being ungrateful if I want to move away from it?

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  • Eveline Lau
    Eveline Lau
    Level 4. Prodigy
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019
    1. Try to rationalise what you're feeling right now, where your lack of passion stems from; is it burn out? or do you truly don't enjoy playing the sport?
    1. Also rationalise whether you want to take the sport professionally. Having passion for a sport doesn't necessarily mean that you want to develop it into a career for various reasons (e.g. you may think that it's not a healthy career because it's not easy to sustain it once you go beyond the peak).
    1. Commnicate to your parents about Points 1 and 2. And also understand why they want you to take it professionally (other than that they've invested large amount of money in you for it). Also take this opportunity to let them know what you would like to do next (or let them know that you want to find something you would like to commit to, if you haven't figure this out).

    Communication is important, if not the key thing here. Make your voice heard but also remember that they may not necessarily agree with you. But even if they don't agree with you (yet), don't think that you're being ungrateful to want to move away from it. This is your future that we are talking about here.

    Putting it from another perspective - if you continue with hockey out of "gratefulness" to your parents but because of the lack of passion and interest in the sport anymore, you fail to perform to their expectation (and in this case, the coach's and other investors' expectations). In the worst case scenario, you may not even be able to stay on the team or any professional team, killing your own career too. At that point of time, what are you go to do?

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  • Khew Phng Pin
    Khew Phng Pin
    Level 2. Rookie
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    Moving away, what is you truly passion about? 1. What you good at? 2. How you going to achieve it?

    You should start reading more and find out what you truly passion and be happy doing it. Build up more confident and be knowledgeable about it before moving away from hockey.

    You should be able to explain to your parents on what you going to do, though there will be resistance from them at first. Bringing it to professional level prove their fruits on their vested time and money.

    Read more, understand more and get more option before moving on. Don't just switch because you think you no longer interested in one and you stop but have no where to go.

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  • HC Tang
    HC Tang
    Level 8. Wizard
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    Hey, you're still very young and at the best time of your life šŸ˜„ā¤ļø. I think you could try something below : šŸ˜€

    1. Talk to parents and let them understand how you felt

    2. Continue what you've been doing but also spend some time doing something else and try something new to see what you really passion about.

    3. If you didn't find it , then continue 2 and 3 until you find it.

    4. Once you have found what you're passion about , find out the pros and cons and try it out before giving up current. Move towards it full force once you're sure what you're getting into.

    One thing about life is that, it is neither short nor long. We can be passion about more than 1 or 2 things as the same time and it's ok to pursue a few or different passion at different stage of life. Have a broader perspective, go out and do more and try more see more to really find what you wanna do at the current state of life.

    Cheers. All the best. May you find your true passion(s) soon šŸ˜€šŸ‘Œ

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  • Dinesh D'shuttlers
    Dinesh D'shuttlers
    Level 2. Rookie
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    I believe you are suffering from a burnout, due to long term competitive involvement in hockey. Take a break of maybe about 6-12months, then re-evaluate. Most likely you will regain some passion, if not competitive maybe coaching.

    keep your parents informed and they will appreciate your efforts as they seem passionate about the sport (compared to giving up)..

    i have been through this I understand

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  • Eric Lim
    Eric Lim
    Level 2. Rookie
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    Are you able to explain the lack of passion despite playing professionally? Is it burn out? Or something else? Can you do a cross discipline sports like ice-hockey or floor-ball? Is there anything that you are passionate about currently?

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  • Gabriel Tham
    Gabriel Tham
    Top Contributor

    Top Contributor (Apr)

    Level 8. Wizard
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    Well, do you love playing hockey or love competing in hockey competitions?

    If you do, then why not give it a shot? Play professionally, get some medals or awards until you have past your peak level.

    If you do not love the sport, then it is time to move away. But if you do move away, what will you do next?

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  • Jeff Yeo
    Jeff Yeo, amateur Social contributor at School of social sharing
    Level 6. Master
    ā€§
    Answered on 14 Jan 2019

    in Life we often meet With situations where we are forced to do what we dislike. If you are truely good at it and can milk something good out of it then maybe it might be wise to stick to it for a while and achieve something before moving in to your passion.

    if you found out that you are not as good in the area of your passion then would you have regretted that you did not stick to what you are good at ?

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  • Yong Kah Hwee
    Yong Kah Hwee
    Level 6. Master
    ā€§
    Answered on 02 Jan 2019

    IMO, it's your life and you should be the one deciding what you want to do with it. Have an open conversation with your parents about it, and tell them how you feel honestly. Good luck!

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