I feel like everyone takes advantage of me at work because I'm nice. Should I change my behaviour to stop people from giving me undesirable tasks? - Seedly

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Asked by Anonymous

Asked on 28 Nov 2018

I feel like everyone takes advantage of me at work because I'm nice. Should I change my behaviour to stop people from giving me undesirable tasks?

I usually don't mind, but what really triggered me was me colleague asking me for her to key in some data (easy, but time consuming), because she was rushing on another thing. I was busy as well, but agreed to help as she seemed really stressed. Halfway through it, I got up to go to the pantry and saw her standing around chatting with other co-workers. This isn't even under my jobscope.

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"saw her standing around chatting with other co-workers"

Yeah see, now that's where the line is crossed. There is no issue with being nice and helping out a co-worker that requires the assistance. But if it gets to the point where they are starting to take advantage of your kindness, it's time to put your foot down and reject requests to help if your hands are already tied.

You could try to talk to them and explain that you are already busy with your own workload and wouldn't be able to help out. If need be, try talking to them about the issue, and that it's not cool of them to be doing that.

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Tan Chin Yu
Tan Chin Yu

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Level 3. Wonderkid
Updated on 07 Jun 2019

You could politely mention that you’re happy to help out after you’re done with your current work as you’re quite loaded with work your end as well. This way, you maintain your helpfulness while ensuring the priorities will remain your own work. Kindness is a virtue and you should not let this change. Just need to say no sometimes and be kind towards yourself as well.

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Kenneth Lou
Kenneth Lou

01 Dec 2018

This is very true: "Kindness is a virtue and you should not let this change. Just need to say no sometimes and be kind towards yourself as well."
Tiffany SQ
Tiffany SQ

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Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 01 Dec 2018

For ur situation, do u understand this colleague well? If u know her well n knows that she is someone who does not take advantage of ppl.. it is probably just a once off situation where she went to the pantry and take some water n just nice bump into someone who just chat with her on smt.. n she can't denied..

In general.. there r all sort of ppl at work.. so u need to judge urself whether is this someone u want to help.. there r ppl who generally takr advantages of others n ppl who dont.. n will help u out when u r in need too.. so it is really for u to judge.. n if u feel uncomfortable in helping someone.. than I would say not to help.. n sometimes we also need to give n take alittle..

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Daniel Ling
Daniel Ling

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Level 4. Prodigy
Updated on 07 Jun 2019

Nope you should change job.

People take advantage of you because they are that type of people rather than because you are nice. Other nice people won't take advantage of you but instead boost you up using your nice character.

Changing your behavior might become a 1 way road.

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Leong Wen Fong
Leong Wen Fong

11 Dec 2018

Hi Daniel! I sent you an email recently, but I think you missed it! Do drop me a PM on facebook, or drop me a message at 90303665!
Elsa Goh
Elsa Goh
Top Contributor

Top Contributor (Oct)

Level 5. Genius
Answered on 30 Nov 2018

Er just say u busy also and say no lor next time.

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Good Day Every Day
Good Day Every Day
Top Contributor

Top Contributor (Nov)

Level 6. Master
Answered on 28 Nov 2018

You need to inform your colleagues you need to finish your assignments first due to the tight deadlines. You need to learn to be assertive, not aggressive so that your colleagues would not take you for granted.

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Heng Kai Le
Heng Kai Le, Mondomover at School Of Life

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Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 07 Jun 2019

Decide on your to-do list, be very clear on the three things you want to accomplish every day (of course, when it's fighting fire season, we will be lucky if we can accomplish even one task), set boundaries, help your colleagues if you can, decline and SAY NO if you can't

You are not a mean person if you say nope. We need to help ourselves first/make sure our tank is full before we can extend a helping hand to others. So never feel guilty about saying nope

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