Would you be totally transparent financially with your spouse if your spouse and in-laws are spenders? - Seedly





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Asked by Anonymous

Asked 3w ago

Would you be totally transparent financially with your spouse if your spouse and in-laws are spenders?

The question above, my spouse and in-Law are spenders. From my perspective, they do not have much savings/retirement plan. My spouse is the only child. The responsibility in the future eventually heavily lies on me. I'm a saver and have an above-average income, while I save and invest my money and I have plans and goals to retire early. Being fully transparent w spouse makes me uncomfortable. This is not right but do try to be in my shoe to understand me. How would you advise in my situation?


Answers (3)

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jiajing wang


Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered 3w ago

Communication is the key and I am having almost the same situation as you as I started to invest in StashAway and RSP etc.. Also planning on SSB to hit the investment criteria on my DBS multiplier.

My SO is a not a spender but impulsive shopper who likes retail therapy to relieve stress... As she has seen all my amounts in the investments and saving accounts, I would say it is a bad move. As a saver, anyone who wants to spend our monies will discomfort us.

Advise to you is to show her only what you want to show. She might think you are not honest to her but she would have you to Thank when you retired



Eventually, you both have to talk about it. Money can make or break relationships. If you didn't talk about it before getting married, like spending habits, savings habits etc, then after marriage it is going to get tough to talk about it.

But better late than never. Many cases couple break because one side just cannot change their spending habit and never save for the future.



I think it's important to have a talk together on the common goals first. Best to let each other understand. The kind of "aiya we will have enough money 1" with no calculations are the worst.

I would formulate a proper financial plan and discuss the hard numbers (which is facts) so that everyone can be on the same page.

If you really think that they will spend and spend (or even think you would save a lot of money because they do not see you spending), then I would rather not be transparent in this case, because honesty isn't the best policy in this case.