facebookI’m having troubles with my spouse recently. He does not bother about the family finances and we have 2 kids. He only cares about work and nothing else. How do I convince him to be more savvy and read up more? - Seedly

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Anonymous

08 Mar 2020

SeedlyAMA

I’m having troubles with my spouse recently. He does not bother about the family finances and we have 2 kids. He only cares about work and nothing else. How do I convince him to be more savvy and read up more?

I'm doing all the work for the household finances and planning as well. It's really tiring and wish that he is able to help out more. He brings home a decent salary around $8k a month. But unfortunately he does not have a sense of how to help the family planning.

Discussion (17)

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I feel, you should convey to him with friendly words, that the situation is not acceptable anymore.

You should ask him also openly what his goals for family life were and are.

The situation should then not be painted black/white, but compromise for common goals should be found.

The best way - i feel - would be a way where he doesn't feels guilty or ashamed by your inputs, but where he feels that You strongly need his help for your daily activities for the good if the families. You could also already actively propose/discuss small single steps to deescalate the load on You.

Rais M

08 Mar 2020

Accountant at SME

Each parent needs to play a different role in a family, otherwise it could lead to unnecessary conflicts.

In your case, I believe your husband is purely focusing on making more money for the family and he trusts you to manage the household finances. This is in fact a good sign in a relationship. Can you imagine if both of you wants to manage the finances, and have completely opposite point of view?

Talk to your husband. Have an open communication on how you feel.

Andy Sim

06 Mar 2020

HR Professional at a Financial Institution

Hi Anon, someone would definitely be stronger in finances/planning while the other is stronger in say building a career or doing the housework etc. It may be good to sit down with your spouse and have a talk about this, and probably list down all the items to discuss and agree on it. So in a sense have an agreement with him to split the different roles and then work tgt to achieve your goals as a couple.

To me, he might just want to work hard to give the family a better. But in doing that, he might not realised that he have neglected his family. During one of his off days, you can sit down and have a chat with him and let him know about your feelings and how both of you can work things out together.

Cedric Jamie Soh

24 Dec 2019

Director at Seniorcare.com.sg

Working hard for a decent salary to bring home is also part and parcel of the family planning.

Perh...

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