26 Jun 2021
I'm 26, going 27 next year, and I see all my friends getting married, doing well in their work, but I feel like I haven't really grown up. Is it normal to feel so lost and behind?
Ah the millenial FOMO. I am a millenial myself, but the way I have dealt with such feelings is to talk to the people who are at least a decade older than me and understand their experiences.
1. Getting married. Understand that not everyone is getting married for love (no matter what they say). In Singapore especially, one of the big motivations to get married is the HDB flat, and also getting it before the joint income ceiling is reached. Don't envy them, instead talk to the folks who have been married. It might surprise you, some may really enjoy married life, and some would tell you that they wish they were single.
2. Doing well in work. 'Doing well' is subjective. Perhaps it is timely to quote Warren Buffet here, when he was asked about his definition of success:
When you're nearing your end of life, your only measure of success should be the number of "people you want to have love you actually do love you,"
That said, your friends whom you think are doing well, might be having their own stresses and not really thinking about themselves as well as you are of them. Likewise, there could be friends whom you are not hearing from currently, but they are head down doing the best work of their lives now.
Everyone has their own path. What matters is that you don't regret taking yours with the time you have.
It's normal. You are just doing a self reflection of your life and thinking about your future. I can...
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