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Anonymous

15 Nov 2019

Property

What should I do when my parents are in debt? Where should I draw the line on this?

I'm a 30 y/o degree grad with a mid-level job. My parents are in debt but I can't entirely help them. They refuse to do anything, i.e declare bankruptcy (they want to save face) or downgrade to a HDB. They're paying ~$4k every month to banks but are still affected by late fees .etc. That said, I'm the one covering their expenses with my salary (rent, utilities, etc). My girlfriend of 5 years understands but I feel it's unfair for her. I love my family, but what can I do from here?

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Kenichi Xi

06 Aug 2019

nᴉʍ oʇ dǝnᴉʇsǝd 不能说的秘密 at Tag Team with Gabriel Tham

  1. Stop helping to let them understand the need to get real help.

  2. Real help will be credit counseling bcos they have experiences w the worst of them all. If they can do nothing, u can do nothing too.

  3. By not being a burden to ur parents is also a gift bcos u r the last line of defence if they really need food on the table daily.

  4. If pt 2 or similar solution could not improve the insidious situation, is fated for u to cut off too.

I am speaking from living it first hand.

It's going to be hard to hear.

Don't listen to all the BS advise from people who haven't been through it. They don't know what they are talking about.

Doesn't sound like you can cover their bums. It's not your fault, remember that.

It's their shit and they were the shitheads, remember that.

Because you, especially in our Asian culture, (actually more like big brother's conditioning, but don't deviate) moreover being a son, will carry that weight on your back and will feel very bad not doing so. To the extend of robbing you of your life.

So you need to cut them off and focus on being the best version of you. If you are then successful and want to help, then do so.

It's tough because in the Asian culture, children are often expected to be the main financial support for aging parents. I would encourage you to honor your parents, but not support their bad financial decisions. That would be hurting them in the long run. So be upfront with them and let them know how much you are able to support each month and draw that line. It is up to your parents as adults to make good financial decisions that benefit themselves, and you shouldn't hold yourself responsible for the consequences of bad decisions that they make.

This is a good article that may help you make sense of it
https://www.daveramsey.com/askdave/relationship...

You mention that your parents are in debt but paying $4k per month to reduce their debt. if this pla...

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