Asked on 09 Oct 2018
My friend house warming soon and he already bought everything he needs. I think better to give Ang bao but how much?
I treat House warming as an excuse for gathering, so didn't really expect gifts the last time I threw one. Treat it like going to friend's house for a meal. Usually something like 1 bottle of wine for celebration will do. Had a few collegues who brought alcohol, and we had a mini wine tasting session.
Haha why don't you just give based on how much you can afford to give, as well as how close he is to you.
To be honest, I don't really like this "market-rate" values. Everyone has a certain degree of closeness with their friends, everyone earns a different amount, and everyone has different struggles in life. I can't expect a person who is the sole breadwinner of a family of 6 to give the "market rate" and base our friendship off that.
Just give from the heart, I think that should be enough.
1 more comments
10 Oct 2018
Simple question lah really - Here is my formula for ang pao giving:
Closeness Rating / (1 + Richness Rating) x Spare cash + Base amount
Closeness rating = how close you are with the friend (between 0 and 1)
Richness rating = how rich the person is (between 0 to 1)
Base amount = $20 (so that it doesn't reflect too badly on you)
So let's say you have $300 spare
If you are not very close to the friend, but he is super rich, it will look something like this:
0.2/(1+0.7) x 300 + 20 = $55
Let's say your friend is very poor, but he's like your brother, then
0.8/(1+0.2) x 300 +20 = $220
Let me explain this logic:
First one is very simple- how close you are, will mean how much you are willing to help the person, so the number will go higher, the closer you are.
Richness rating is the opposite- If he is very rich, then he doesn't nee your money. If he is poor, then help out a brother lah.
The base amount is to push your amount a bit, if not use the formula and give $10 very xiasuey. Then if the amount is already quite high, the $20 is just a bit more to help a poor brother.
But this is just my formula.
People should start having parties etc without expecting a gift or reward. If there is one it's a bonus. If not no worries. If one expects gifts or any pows in return to cover costs or make money then don't have it in the first place. This especially applies to weddings. 😉
Ps if you want to give them something then a gift card or a bottle of wine or something monogram perhaps!
I would actually prefer to give an IKEA gift card eg $100! And let the couple or family decide what they would want to buy instead then go and buy that item. Eg a toaster, breadmaker, or vaccum cleaner etc. :)
Ang bao I would reserve for CNY or Weddings... At least that is what I would do from experience haha.
Interesting...! I was just recently asking my friends for advice on how much to give for an upcoming wedding lunch reception at The Westin! I think we all came to the conclusion that give enough to be not paiseh after the wedding, but also give such that you don't leave feeling like you lost a fortune/find ways to recoup your 'losses'. It should never be about the money despite the way our society is wired.
On the receiving end, I do know of some couples who, in conversations, drop some rough hints of the going rate. But that said, don't expect to make back what you spent on your joyous occasion!
Give whatever you are comfortable with. No hard or fast rule about this. If your friend drinks, consider getting a good bottle of wine from wine connection or other similar places in lieu of a red packet. It's the thought that counts.
Since you've decided going with an ang bao gift is optimal - strike a fine balance between giving the amount you're comfortable with & the amount you feel is suitable for the occasion.
NEVER give into societal pressure! Always remember that you're there to celebrate, NOT fund the occasion!
Giving should always be just a gesture of goodwill.
It will very much depends on the closeness of relationship and my budget. Also for closer friends whom I know are cash tight, I will try to give a bit more to them within my budget :P
Usually ntuc or taka gift vouchers are very useful. If you really want to give cash, you can consider... giving 20 dollars to normal friends and 50 dollars to really close ones. :)
Personally it has been about 50 dollars
you can consider gifts if it is within your budget and you know it is needed by your host else a bottle of wine is nice
According to this:
If we assume $30 per pax and you are your partner is going, you can pack around $80 to $100 for two pax. If you are going alone, probably something more than $50 per pax.
If you are going with your friends, best to check if what they are bringing or if they are packing ang bao. It is always polite to ask your host if they need you to bring any food.
Alternatively, there are some who prefer to give gifts instead of angbao. There are some who will just buy a cake or bring a bottle of wine instead of coming empty handed.
My thought is that even though he already got everything he needs, you can still ask him if they "wanted" anything else, then and share with friends and buy. It would be something more lasting since it could be a furniture that last or something more meaningful just pure ang pow. Otherwise, ang pow is still the most practical :)