Ultimate Hacks: Adulting

Asked by Anonymous

Updated 3w ago

What do you think about stay home moms?

I'm currently an Acc undergraduate. I'm just a simple woman with a simple dream that likes simple job (but means I'll be overqualified). I want 2 kids with a loving hubby, grow old together and live happily ever after. What should I do? - Finish my university in 2 years, come out be an admin? Live with a 2k wage? - Be a stay home mom with a part-time job? What part-time job should I get? Please don't tell me KFC or Mac.

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You have an a/c degree, still can work for commercial line. Just don't go for big 4. I'm sure you know that big 4 is training ground but very brutal graveyard working hours. After that good exposure @ big 4, most will go to commercial line and be A/C Asst, Accountant, Finance manager and some day even CFO.

I really admire your dreams and I'm sure many guys would love to have you as their wife with 2 kids and a happy family :) You'll be a very happy family! :)

However, in a high cost of living place like SG, we're forced to face with reality of the high cost of living and manage it somehow.

These days ,even admin job is quite demanding. The company i work with also don't let receptionist cum admin go home in time, everyday have to work at least 1 hour OT or so. Thus even a simple Admin title may not entitle to simple work life.

It's only those company with the right work life balance and pro family culture will allow people to go home sharp in time. Government ministry staff also more or less gets to go home in time.

My thought is that, Maybe you could, finish Uni in 2 years time, find an A/C Assist job in government ministry, or when you see the job advertisement, check out their company in Linkedin and also glassdoor to see the staff review. Check if ex staff said if is a work life balance and friendly place, no OT etc. By all means these could be your kinds of company that has pro family and work life balance system , rather than some company claims to have flexi work timing but just choose your fix time to come earlier and go home earlier and come later and go home later, those were not true work life balance or flexi work timing.

Suggestion path could be: In goverment sector or Company with true work life balance / pro family scheme

Pathway: Uni graduate A/C Assist or Audit - Accountant / Sr. Auditor

In both, like my ex classmate who chose to be auditor, their life is simpler and less OT, with adequate income too :)

Do find out more from your lecturer or faculty side on the possible career pathway, and the assistant of job placement, industry training , intership as much and as early as possible so that you can make early plans for it!

Check out this guide by Seedly for the local uni, field of focus and staring salary to have an idea:

https://blog.seedly.sg/graduate-starting-salary-nus-ntu-smu-sutd-sit/

After married and with 2 kids, as you will need $, so unless your husband make a lot of $, it is not advisable to just find admin job and remain 2k+ salary (remember even Admin job these days were very demanding and heavy load!). Neither be a stay home mum a good options too earlier.

Once you meet your sweet hubby and get married, settle down, if husband income is able to pay for all the fees requires to raise the 2 kids (I'm not saying go for expensive lifestyle or full of tuition, but some tuition is necesssary due to our demanding educational system), then you can consider be a full time stay home mum so the family can depends on one income only. However, do consider of the risk of one single income as these days there's no job security, thus you guys will need to save a lot of emergency funds and plan for backup in case of husbang job losses if it happens.

Finally, I wanted to say. It's a good dreams and I love your plan. WIth a little bit of planning and risk management, you can still achieve your dreams above, coupled with much safer plans for longer terms. After all , a stable family also requires stable income and $ sometimes put on heavy strain on relationship. Don't let $ be the factors that affect your marriage and relationship, manage it well , plan and manage it earlier, dreams will still comes true! :)

Have a great life ! :)

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Ck Chai
Ck Chai

07 Oct 2018

This is a very well balanced reply! This dream though seem simple, is not simple at all! 😃 Not easy for one to be contented easily with a simple life...
HC Tang
HC Tang

07 Oct 2018

Thanks CK :) I think question poster has a good dream, and most of our dreams it not easy but i always believe with proper planning, it is achievable. I I think she's also quite fortunate to know what she want in life while still young when most people don't know what they want in life. So with a clear goal, we can then make plans to achieve it! :) Keeping life simple is one of the ways to achieve happiness, because at the end of the day, we're all just want to be happy, isn't it ? :)

The degree you hold could fetch u a good income even if you are not in the BIG FOUR.

Is a pity tt you wanna go for simple job but then again is ur destiny and no one can change that.

Let me share the future w u.

  1. if you are a tai tai after marriage, you possible will live happily ever after. bcos going back to the workforce will not be needed ever in ur life. BUT
  2. if ur simple dream comes with a simple husband who is the bread winner, he too have parents to take care of.

At the same time, u have parents to take care of.

When you lack experience and network as u age, you cant get an accountant job and low pay, no prospect admin job and contract based at the most aka, u will be jobless after contract if they nv renew u.

you might even have fear of going back to the work force bcos ur Degree should have get u a good pay but u end up doing admin job.

you are already picky with ur part time job so the fear i mentioned above might materialise.

All in all, is ok to live a simple life but without a plan tt simple choice might destroy ur life.

If you have delay gratification for ur simple life plan, things might just be different.

Hope my last sentence at least give u some good direction.

Hope my reply helps.

If you feel this reply have Quality, please upvote and check other Quality Reply.

https://seedly.sg/profile/a-kenichi-xi

Thank you.

2 comments

7
Leong Wen Fong
Leong Wen Fong

27 Sep 2018

Good answer Ken!
Kenichi Xi
Kenichi Xi

27 Sep 2018

Can the person who down vote me please at least explain more to the person who asked. Please also highlight why my reply is down voted. that will be more helpful rather then doing such meaningless thing. I am ok with the down vote but i am not ok when is not helping the person who ask.
Siti Putri
Siti Putri,
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 26 Sep 2018

Complete your degree. If you don't want to work in corporate job, you can consider freelance accounting, consulting or part-time tutoring on accounting subjects. If things don't work out, at least you can go back to find a job with more doors open with your degree.

Supposing you found a decent loving man, that will be great, but consider if he is willing to be sole breadwinner especially in high costs of living in SG supee stress with 2 kids in future and ageing parents.

I always say this, love is love but money is also important. Think also of your future and retirement plans supposing you are fully dependent on 1 man. If it does happen in future, set aside at a certain % to save in your solo bank account and if possible ask your future hubby to contribute to your CPF SA/MA too.

Life oftentimes is not so simple and always must have backup plan.

0 comments

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Yinglin Chua
Yinglin Chua,
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 27 Sep 2018

There are a lot of "ideas" about working mothers and stay at home mums.

If having children is NOT in the immediate pipeline, I do have a suggestion for you.

Get into the Big4 or any reputable consultancies for a short stint of about 3 to 5years, if you can.. simply for the experience and sought after skills that you can deploy thereafter, or paving the way to - a freelancer or part timer getting considerable pay for the small amount of time invested.

You have asked if stay at home mum is feasible.

If you live an extravagant life, have a lot of liabilities, purchased a house that is obviously not in line with a simple life, financially, it may be difficult. However, you may be able to tide this out with all the financial assistance schemes available (if single parents haven't died bringing up children alone, you would survive).

If you were to take a low paying job, let me remind you.. the most expensive years are infant and preschool. If you have one child, after all the subsidies, the infant or childcare expenses is still a significant chunk of your disposable or take home salary. If you have two or more children, you are better off being a stay at home mum and homeschool the kids yourself since your entire salary may just go into childcare.

For all those men out there who goes to work but have never really taken care of a child 24/7.. they will imagine a Tai Tai life for the stay home mum. In reality, it only works if the guy earns lots and has a domestic helper etc available for the mum to upgrade to Tai Tai status.

The reality is that the stay at home mum is a job that is much more difficult than any job one can hold out there. In the early years, you have an unreasonable "boss" (the child) who, unlike adults, are not able to regulate emotions as well. If you have no help, you may end up being "isolated".. no jokes with colleagues, no proper lunch time, tea time breaks.. even the toilet or shower break is "in - out in 3'mins". Not to mention some husbands are like another big baby. They don't help and after work, you are taking care of two babies.. and everyone finally goes to sleep and you now have time to complete domestic chores. It is not a life that many can take. It's not just dreams and careers one is sacrificing. Of course, there are a few lucky ones where the baby is nice.. and things just fall in nicely.

Working mum is not easy too. Some jobs don't have flexibility, the children may have more behavioural issues due to lack of attachment etc, rushing to pick up kids, not enough leave or childcare leave etc.. and rushing to complete chores and cooking dinner.. list goes on.

Tuition is often overstated. The right learning habits need to be inculcated from young (not getting children addicted to iPad or gadgets in the early years is one of the best learning gift you can provide to your child). A lot of us grew up without tuition.. and are graduates. And affordable tuition are available from CDAC for example.

Discuss with your future husband and see what works out for your family. If you need part time jobs etc.. check out mums at work website.

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Lee Jiahui
Lee Jiahui,
Level 5. Genius
Updated 3w ago

If only life is that simple... Keep your options open, graduate first, then follow your friends to get a job, talk to real world ppl (student life is still pretty much bubble life), talk to other office ladies with simple job, 2 kids, loving hubby, then set your compass.

I don't mean to scare you but there are ladies doing simple jobs (2k-3k) unhappy with their jobs, because they wished they can earn more so that they can contribute more to the family.

1 comment

3
Elsa Goh
Elsa Goh

26 Sep 2018

Agree. No need to decide so early.
Gabriel Lee
Gabriel Lee,
Level 6. Master
Answered on 26 Sep 2018

I think that you should complete your studies first since you're already halfway through, then work for awhile to build up your savings for emergency funds, future household expenses and expenses for your kid(s). After you give birth, you can consider being a stay home mum to take care of your kids, assuming that your husband is earning a decent salary for you all to be able to live decently/comfortably. Otherwise, you can consider getting a part time admin job to help out your husband to reduce the financial load.

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3
Tina Sharon Lee
Tina Sharon Lee,
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 26 Sep 2018

Hi there I would advise you to complete your undergraduate degree and work for a while to gain experience and build your reserves. It is always good to have a degree and work experience in the bag. If you should decide to marry later and have kids etc you can always do accounting work on a part time or contract basis. This will give you a source of independent income. Even if your husband is able to provide for you and your family, it would be advisable to maintain your own income stream. Best of luck

0 comments

2

I think better to get a career too unless your husband is rich guy.

If just average income, then he may lose job and that will put whole family in trouble.

If you prefer stay home, you can try private home tuition. With good acc degree, I think you can teach maths, principle of accounts.

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Yong Kah Hwee
Yong Kah Hwee,
Level 6. Master
Answered on 26 Sep 2018

I think that whatever it is, as long as you are happy, everything else can be disregarded. Pay does not equate to happiness!

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As Df
As Df,
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 03 Oct 2018

Not all corporate jobs are stressful or requires long hours - just keep your eyes open and check with your seniors about possible "dead end" jobs, and be open to contract or cover jobs.

In my freshie days I used to be "pregnancy cover" for an MNC SSC that quite literally had staff taking turns going on maternity for the few years I ended up as their contractor.

I still keep in touch with a couple of the staff there who have been there for more than a decade and are happily mouldering away with no career progression but superb work life balance.

These jobs do exist if you really prefer a simple life with a stagnant career.

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Julia Chan
Julia Chan,
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 27 Sep 2018

Finding the right person to start a family with is the most important. Whether SAHM or not, it will depend on your family financial and childcaring situation, so don't fret about it till it comes to the time you have to decide.

Btw, when I was 14, I thought about this "dilemma", will I give up my career for my kids, and I decided at that age that if I had to, I will. It's up to you to decide and also have to see your circumstances after you start a family.

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Elsa Goh
Elsa Goh,
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 26 Sep 2018

Unless you're planning to get married soon, it is not possible to plan it so specifically in advance. Just try and maximise your savings for now, reduce expenses and finish your degree. Try a full time job when you graduate, see if it is something you are ok with. Who knows, you may enjoy it (or at least the income that comes with it).

If you are planning to get married soon, discuss with your fiancee. Bear in mind whichever path u choose, u will get judged by someone - this is the lot of women in today's society. Ignore them and do what is best for yourself and your family. Minimally, ensure your combined income covers your household expenses, and don't splurge. You will do fine.

0 comments

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Good Day Every Day
Good Day Every Day,
Level 6. Master
Answered on 27 Sep 2018

There is nothing wrong being a stay home mum. Perhaps you may want to set up an online business or do trading to earn some income.

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Education is never wasted. Please complete your degree

life is every changing and you might have a change in mind or be at a junction where you need to return to work.

experience working life then decide. Many times life do not go as planned so please be prepared.

0 comments

0
Nicholas Chan
Nicholas Chan,
Level 5. Genius
Updated 3w ago

Run a home business as a stay home mum. There are success stories who became millionaires!

2 comments

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Kenneth Lou
Kenneth Lou

26 Sep 2018

Haha this one not so easy la... it’s actually very time consuming and a ton of hardwork! But i agree location flexibility
Chok Fern Chai
Chok Fern Chai

27 Sep 2018

Agree, as long as want to run a business that earns, it usually means you will need to be available 24x7. Just that you have more flexibility on how & where you want to run it.