Is having a long-distanced relationship always so financially straining? My boyfriend is from Germany, and we can only meet 2-3 times a year. Is it worth keeping the relationship? - Seedly
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Asked by Anonymous

Asked on 17 Dec 2018

Is having a long-distanced relationship always so financially straining? My boyfriend is from Germany, and we can only meet 2-3 times a year. Is it worth keeping the relationship?

But the expense to meet up is just so high. Plus when we send gifts for each other's birthdays. We talk online, but because of the time-difference, we don't have a lot of common time. We aren't even sure about the future of the relationship, and sometimes I feel like I'm spending too much on this.

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Investments of the heart is only Worth it when you see the value.

based On my views it would be no bacause physical I feel that it is important to be in person.

The cost of of flying to meet each other is also huge.

ultimately you have to ask yourself if you see the value in continuing

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Yong Kah Hwee
Yong Kah Hwee
Level 6. Master
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

If you are starting to feel this way, chances are, your love for your partner is slowly being diluted. Do you see an end point in this relationship? Are you going to move over, or is he going to move here?

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Bang Hong
Bang Hong
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

Well, it really depends and on a serious note nobody can give you an answer for it.

The "worthiness" is assessed by nobody except yourself. If you see a future together, do plan something.

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Yixiong Chang
Yixiong Chang
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

Few even travel to europe once a year, not to mention twice or more. Will eventually, any of u will permanently move to each other's side? I think this is a very important question to answer first.

Being apart is not easy. Being physically close is important too, it is just human nature(and other animals as well) that we yearn physical touch. When we are experiencing emotional setback (or even happy), we really want to have your love one physically beside u to share your pain and joy. Probably u are someone like that?

As u mentioned, time difference is also a big problem. It is just weird for either side to greet each other morning or goodnight. These simple yet sweet actions probably lost its effect.

The fact that u are here to, asking this question publicly, already mean these strain are manifesting into problems. You are already feeling insecure with him. The only way now is to speak openly with your bf, tell him how u feel and ask him tell u how he feels. You will need to discuss with him what he intends to do about the relationship, as both of u can't be remaining status quo forever right?

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Siti Putri
Siti Putri
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

How long has the LDR been? Have you talked about future..sure as potential moving in together or find job at Germany/SG ? It takes both parties to travel to meet up, so if you get to meet 3 times a year should be equal such as once in SG/Germany and another outside other country. Sometimes it is not about the hours you spent together but the quality of conversation, chemistry connection. I was in LDR too and we got married.

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Eric Lim
Eric Lim
Level 2. Rookie
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

Follow ur heart. I know many who had LDR and are now happily married... some in SDR may also spend a lot (every day cafe, every few months travel, every occasion gifts)...

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Tina Sharon Lee
Tina Sharon Lee
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

Well it is tough to be in a ldr. Have you considered moving to Germany or he moving to Singapore to resolve the ldr? That might be more feasible and practical in the long run. Meeting 2 or 3 times a year can be tough. More importantly you have to ask yourself is this relationship really what you want? If it is you can always find a way. Good luck!

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HC Tang
HC Tang, Financial Enthusiast, Budgeting at The Society
Level 8. Wizard
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

it's more of if you can maintain the r/s with virtual communications and only 2 - 3 times gathering a year. If you can, good and it might be succesful.

My bff had LDR for 6 years and they are now happily married :) They work hard, to buy ticket to see each other, spend a lot of time also working on their future.

Maybe you both could explore an options to go to one of the country and stay together, work/study there.. after all , that's the best options next to LDR. Aferall, r/s is about give and take, making sacrifies for each other. :)

All the best :)

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Loh Tat Tian
Loh Tat Tian
Level 6. Master
Answered on 17 Dec 2018

Some expenses are necessary. But if you feel that you are spending too much, you might want to relook if you can handle your expenses.

Gifts can be meaningful and thoughtful, yet not expensive. A card with hand folded items, games credit etc, which is less than $10 is fine. Its the effort that counts right.

I dun get why meeting up is expensive, coz he can fly over to meet you too. Its a two way thing. If you feel to expensive, voice out so that both parties know. This is how wedded couples work together to build a future.

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Daniel Ling
Daniel Ling
Level 4. Prodigy
Updated on 17 Dec 2018

Whether the relationship is Worth or not is not just about the financial value. If it is, then maybe you are in it for the wrong reasons.

Call it a investment instead.

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