Im a male, turning 30 soon, single. As i dont really have a social life, I have managed to amass a total of cash savings of $100,000++. But im still unhappy and mildly depressed. Is it normal? How can I find joy in life? - Seedly
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Anonymous

Asked on 05 Apr 2019

Im a male, turning 30 soon, single. As i dont really have a social life, I have managed to amass a total of cash savings of $100,000++. But im still unhappy and mildly depressed. Is it normal? How can I find joy in life?

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Junus Eu
Junus Eu
Level 9. God of Wisdom
Answered on 07 Apr 2019

I find that exercising is a good way to start. A recent news article also puts forward the following:

It’s no secret that exercising comes with a lot of health benefits, but apparently, it also makes people happier than having more money does.

https://www.askmen.com/news/sports/exercise-is-more-important-to-happiness-than-money-says-science.html

Candidly, cash savings of $100k will not technically make you happy. I achieved that target 5 years ago, and found that while that cash pile grew, I really was not necessarily 'happier'. I find joy in taking the time out to have a meal with loved ones, walks around marina barrage with my dad, dancing, so on and so forth.

Know that everyone's time is limited, and I really doubt many people actually think back on their lives in terms of how much money they have amassed. Money might be a lubricant, but ultimately everyone defines success in different ways. If you are not happy and initially thought that money would be a way to make you feel better, and it hasn't, then it might be time to rethink your definition of success, and discover what makes you truly feel fulfilled.

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Suzuki Tan
Suzuki Tan

11 Mar 2020

I totally agree. Happiness can not be measured by money. Recently read about 1M45 from dollars and sense...well, even we have the 1M45, are we able to stay healthy.
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Javier Yong-En Lee
Javier Yong-En Lee
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 09 Apr 2019

There is a free course called "The Science of Well-Being" by Yale University on the site/app Coursera https://www.coursera.org which is targeting at resolving this problem. I just enrolled. Perhaps we can all go and find a solution to our unhappiness

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T
Thomas
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 25 Feb 2020

This sounds alot like me a few years ago, where I had a job that requires me to work on average 12-14 hrs a day. I kept questioning myself on why I'm working so hard and what I'm earning the money for. I didn't like shopping, am not a fan of travelling, I had no loan commitments, and I was single (and still am sadly). So my cash outlay was very minimal which resulted in the huge cash savings.

Fast forward to now, I've left my job (thank god), had alot more time on my hands now, so I thought about what I can do with the money and with my free time. Personally I took up language course (alone), signed up for gym (alone), read up alot and started investing since I've the capital to do so. I'm still pondering about what's next in life, but as of now, at least I'm doing something. I believe this is a good first step, and for you it could be too!

Take that first step, invest in yourself and pick up whatever piques your interest! (:​​​

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Mel Tan Wm
Mel Tan Wm
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 07 Apr 2019

Join a community or bonding event. I would start with a workout class, or even a dance class! Somewhere where you can make friends, and not just business networking.

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J
Jay
Level 2. Rookie
Updated 3d ago

Given such low interest environment, having such amount of savings in cash, if without any specific use in the near future, is unlikely an efficient way of savings.

But the more important issue here is you are unhappy.

From what you described, it seems like money can't buy happiness. But having many personal experiences of much joy from the use of money, I do think that money can buy happiness. And such happiness is always because money is spent not for myself but for others. And it is usually doesn't require much money to do that.

Some examples that money bring me great joy even after many years -

1) I used to buy a lot of food that I can't finish from the school canteen because I notice some poorer students are not eating during recess. And I happily let them make fun of me being an idiot during my school years.

2) During my last vacation in Greece, I would pass by this 4 to 5 years brother and sister who sang so horribly by the street for money. I would bring them to get ice cream and they would teach me how to sing as horribly with them as we finish our ice cream. On the last day before I left. the kids' mom asked for a cigarette. I gave her 2 packets.

Later, 2 older ladies came up to me and told me that they have been watching me and have recorded what I was doing. They said they were going to report me. I guessed they thought that I was a pediophile who have just bought the kids for 1 packet of cigarettes per child. So to help these ladies with their efforts to put such sickening dirty old man behind bars and away from harming innocent children, I asked them to give me a minute to go get my passport for them to take picture when they make the report. Unfortunately, they didn't want to wait. I still can't stop laughing about this experience now.

3) When Covid-19 first started, I bought tons of face masks. I couldn't get hand sanitizer. I googled and paid a couple of workers around my apartment and started a mini factory bottling my homemade hand sanitizer. I gave my Covid-19 pack to some older people that I know, sold for some at work and donated those money to another colleague's charity work, and gave the rest to whoever wanted.

These are the happiness I bought that have not allowed me to stay depressed for long during the bad times of my life.

See if you want to try buy some happiness in ways that appeal to you.

If still feeling down, do consider getting professional help. We tend to overlook our mental health.

Hope this help.

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C
CK
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 28 Nov 2019

Congratulations on amassing significant cash savings!

I underwent a very stressful period in my life recently but I also became interested in investing, and I am determined to be financially independent and provide a well-funded retirement for my mom and myself. I think having a purpose really helps me to look forward to each new day and tracking and seeing the progress which I have made really makes me happy.

I recently read this book called So Good That They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport (available on the NLB app) and it makes an argument against finding your passion and to instead focus on what you're doing and you might eventually find someting that you are interested in which will bring you joy. I highly recommend giving the book a read.

All the best and I hope you find something that you are willing to give your undivided attention to and are so consumed with that it brings you joy!

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Benjamin Tan
Benjamin Tan
Level 4. Prodigy
Updated on 07 Jun 2019

Buddy,

I do hear that you have amased a 6 figure savings, Good Job!

Maybe look at finding ways to spend the interest on yourself.

Look at picking up skills

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Donald Kieran Ang
Donald Kieran Ang

07 Apr 2019

I think you should network and learn to get to know more people. Go out and travel more often. Spend time with people that makes u happy as usually the happiest things in life are free.
Suzuki Tan
Suzuki Tan

11 Mar 2020

Start a family..
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Geraldo L.
Geraldo L.
Level 7. Grand Master
Answered on 09 Mar 2020

Amazing build up on your wealth! At least one thing less to worry. I guess you can find something you enjoy, be it sports, investment, nature etc, you can find people with similar hobbies on meetup.com expanding your social circle as well. Don't coop yourself up, a fresh perspective always does wonders.

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Davin
Davin
Level 7. Grand Master
Answered on 25 Feb 2020

I would suggest u to get some social life. U can start with some meetup activities like sports to expand yr social circle. In fact, many social activities do not require u to spend a lot of money.

As u r still young and already have mild depression, u might want to start to improve the situation before it get worse.

Health is yr number priority. Without the health, u fun hv chance to enjoy yr wealth. All the best.

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Rx
Rx
Level 4. Prodigy
Updated on 25 Feb 2020

Hey there, it’s perfectly normal. I think I’m becoming like you too hahah.

Get a hobby? Explore the world? Learn something new? There’s so much to do when you’re single and financially independent!

Do anything that sparks joy to you! 😉

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janedoe
janedoe
Level 4. Prodigy
Updated on 25 Feb 2020

Hi anon!

One way you can try making yourself happier is through making new friends and expanding your social circle. You can try putting yourself put there by joining interest groups.

I find that volunteering for something you feel passionate about is a good way to make new friends. I have met so many like minded people by volunteering for various events.

Perhaps you can try that too!

You could also take a small portion of the money and treat yourself? To a nice holiday or something. Some self love would be great for the soul :) ​​​

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MT2020
MT2020
Level 7. Grand Master
Answered on 25 Feb 2020

Wow, congrats on hitting 100k by age 30. I'm sure it was not an easy journey. you could start by joining a sport or an activitiy that you are interested, for example martial arts, learn a new skill etc etc. all these will help you to gain more exposure to other people. And who knows, you might just meet your future partner at one of these events.

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wontaks
wontaks
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered on 28 Nov 2019

Wow... if i am 30 and have $100,000 savings, i would really get to fulfill alot of things that i wanna do!

i would suggest that you can do up a bucket list of the things that you want to buy, places you want to go, events that you want to experience, and slowly tick them off! try something that you have always wanted to do but have no courage to do it, or have been putting off doing for the longest time. since you are unhappy with life currently, staying at status quo would not change the fact. you can watch youtube and get inspired by what people on it are doing and start your own mini lifestyle changes like ‘going zero waste for a week’, ‘exercising for 10mins for week’, having diff challenges each week would allow you to set a goal for yourself to do and have something to look forward to (maybe the end of the challenge? haha) and who knows along the way you might gain some knowledge, and even happiness. good luck! 🍀

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Wilson Nid A Break
Wilson Nid A Break
Level 9. God of Wisdom
Answered on 26 Nov 2019

Its better to be single + cash single position

with money, there's still a list of activities you can explore and do.

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It happens to all of us. Finding fulfilment is hard and money doesn't buy everything.

Why don't you try and find more ways to meet people. Go for social events, pick up a new skill, reconnect with old friends.

If you don't fancy social situations, try travelling. Maybe even donate your time to charity. Helping put a smile on someone else's face, might put one on yours.

Just know that we can't go through life alone. We aren't built that way. Be interested in the things and people around you.

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