I'm in uni, and I started to have way more ambitions, like starting my own start-up. M friends are not very supportive. all they want to do is party/complain. Should I stop hanging out with them? - Seedly
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Anonymous

Asked on 26 Nov 2018

I'm in uni, and I started to have way more ambitions, like starting my own start-up. M friends are not very supportive. all they want to do is party/complain. Should I stop hanging out with them?

They are my close friends and we used to hang out almost everyday.

Now I often attend talks and seminars, and they keep complaining that I don't hang out with them anymore

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Jia Min
Jia Min
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 23 May 2020

Are they still your close friends? (It's been 2 years)

If I were in your shoes, I would spend lesser time hanging out with them. Similar to what Summer has mentioned earlier, "we are the average of the 5 people" we spend the most time with.

Spend time with friends who encourage and support you, give honest constructive feedback, share similar interests, values and priorities with you. ​​​

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Yen Peng
Yen Peng
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered on 26 Feb 2020

Just because you guys have different aspirations/priorities right now, doesn't mean you can't stay as friends. If you only surround yourself with certain type/group of friends, you will end up with a very very narrow world view imo. If they are your close friends, i am sure they will understand if you explain your absence to them nicely. Who knows? Maybe you will be the #influencer within the clique, and all of you will go for seminars/talks together eventually :)

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Andy Sim
Andy Sim, HR Professional at a Financial Institution
Level 7. Grand Master
Answered on 26 Feb 2020

Truly close friends do not need to hang out everyday. Those who need to, will eventually die out.

You can reduce your contact with these so called friends if you really do not enjoy their companionship anymore.

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Penny Chong
Penny Chong
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 23 May 2020

I think it is important to understand that on the road to your dream career, there will always be people who do not understand you. That is okay, because you need to understand that people have different priorities and we need to respect that. It would be unwise to just cut them off, just because they do not support you in this matter.

You should try to let them know about what you think, explain to them what their support will mean to you and tell them how much you appreciate them as friends. I'm sure as your good friends, they would be able to understand.

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Summer
Summer
Level 5. Genius
Answered on 23 May 2020

I read from somewhere that your income is the average income of your 5 closest friends.

It is important to have people around you with the same drive and aspirations, who can support you and help another to achieve greater things. It is good on you to have the ambition to do what you want despite what your friends say. I would suggest you going out and trying to find more of these sort of friends who can push you to become better.

However, it does not mean you abandon your old friends. These are the friends who can provide you with something else, like emotional support and the feeling of stability. With them, you can talk about more trivial things and have fun, instead of the serious business talk haha

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Jia Min
Jia Min

23 May 2020

I totally agree

I am not sure of your definition of close friends. Close friends do not need to hang out together every day. They will still be there for you whenever you need help. Of course, you need to be there for them whenever they need your help. If they are not supportive and keep complaining, perhaps you might need to reexamine whether they are just friends or close friends. Just my personal opinion.

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MT2020
MT2020
Level 7. Grand Master
Answered on 25 Feb 2020

No, you should not stop hanging out with them totally. instead, you should start hanging out with them lesser instead. They are your friends for a reason, if you stop hanging out with them completely, they will have a good impression of you. In the future, it will be harder to approach them for help.

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Junus Eu
Junus Eu
Level 9. God of Wisdom
Answered on 20 Mar 2019

There are also friends to be made in the start-up community, and these are the folks whom you can probably have deep discussions with re: the topics you are passionate about!

We all have 24 hours a day, and who we spend the most time with has an implication of who we are.

Definitely, truly good friends are worth keeping, so do take out time to spend quality time with those few! You don't necessarily need to 'hang out everyday' to maintain a close relationship. Quality Quantity.

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Loh Tat Tian
Loh Tat Tian
Level 8. Wizard
Answered on 07 Dec 2018

I guess you just need to balance your time, or even have to inform them you are working hard now precisely because there is more time. If your values defer, then there's not much of a choice to stop hanging out with them.

Follow your passion but never, ever burn bridges. Even if you do not wish to hang out with them, for they may be your future partner, employee etc. or even the HR manager who may hire you instead precisely because they know you are driven. Or you may require their expertise instead when you expand your start-up to a SME, and later on MNC.

Continue with your endeavour, and just maybe read "How to win friends and Influence people" for your start-up dream. Wish you all the best.

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Yang Teng
Yang Teng
Level 9. God of Wisdom
Answered on 26 Nov 2018

You can't realy fault them for choosing something that's more fun. Not everyone will enjoy things you like, just got to priotise and schedule time for study, work and friends.

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