How to be budget without being considered stingy?

Great question! I have also asked myself this question.

For me, I kinda budget on myself - like I will not splurge on anything, even simple things like should I buy a drink during lunch or just drink water, should I order 2 vege or 2 vege 1 meat instead.. These kind of things!

And towards other entertainment expenses (with friends, family I am actually okay to splurge a little), sometimes I'll just tell my friends that I'm trying to save more money because of so and so, so they understand what I am trying to achieve. At the end of the day, it's about both parties understanding the point of views of each other. And if you have a friend who questions like "why you so stingy, just eat only, don't so cheap leh", then I think maybe it's time to reduce time spent with fellow friend.

I think the word should be thrifty and I think there is nothing wrong in being thrifty. In fact, there is beauty in being thrifty. Of course, that doesnt mean that it will make you stingy.

For example, buying gifts especially in this festive season need not be extravagant or need to be very large in size. There are many options to consider when getting a gift. You can DIY yourself, visit value dollar shop or Japan Home. They have many good gifts ideas there and it does not cost you much. Thus, you achieve being thrifty but not stingy.

To add on some sincerity, you can write a perosnal letter to thank or appreciate them too!

Hi Gabriel, I take into context you are referring to spending within the family, and I am happy to share my experience.

At the moment, I think abt 15% of my annual income is spent on family. There have been times I struggle with why my peers give only 300/mth to family (and no one calls them stingy), but as a single, I contribute 15% and my family still say not enough. Sometimes there are different issues at play and in spite of all this, deal with the issue and not take on the "stingy" remarks on your character personally.

I adopt a very principled budget approach, even in family, and here's my ways:

• set a % that you think is fair and try to apply against your income, so that in good times or bad, adhere to the % so all budgets take the right share (not overly penalizing any particular budget).

• instead of giving all the cash / money to the one managing household budget, take over a portion of those bills and pay them directly. Since you assumed the share of bills, you have the "right" to manage those bills. Look for areas that you can trim without compromising on overall welfare. Eg when I took over the starhub cable bills, I adjusted the internet plan, cut some channels (mainly sports which no one watched after my sibling moved out), and cut the extra cable terminal rent. This was just sensibly reducing wastage according to our needs and wants.

• Within family, explore the assignment of tax reliefs that can be shared (eg caretaker relief of parents / siblings / children). The person with the highest tax rate should enjoy the relief, but use the tax savings to fund household expenses.

Don't look at keeping to budget always means compromising on welfare. Rather it is assigning budget $$ to areas that matter, that's why we look at reducing waste, better utilization, and then keeping any savings as a reserve for future needs (I keep it in reserve for buying furniture or equipment).

I also tried to adjust the way I give my family allowances more like a company, a monthly amount (about 70%) I try not to touch, and then about 30% in variable (thru CNY, father / mother day, xmas, birthday angpows). In times of crisis (eg if I am unemployed), I trim the variable festive angpows, and restore it accordingly after the crisis ends.

One other aspect is also maintaining communication and expressing views. Both parties need to be heard. Eg it can be quite senseless for my family to call me stingy, but they use the money I put in family bank account for thousands in church / temple building donations, while I live miserably on a reduced allowance eating instant noodles for meals.

Sometimes it can be that they dont see the pain you go through. Sharing helps to lighten the load.

Over the years, I have increased my annual contribution by about 300%, and while doing that I probably achieved more than 3k in annual cost savings by right sizing plans, cutting unnecessary subscriptions, choosing better value mobile / internet plans, as well as a small portion from changing frequency of insurance premium payments.

3k a year over say 10 years is 30k. I dont pocket the difference, I just absorb more bills, do more cost right sizing, then distribute the excess savings to them as angpows.

I was frugal, managed the budget, and cut cost, but I did not compromise their welfare, because they receive a portion of it in angpows, while paying less bills.

Hope my sharing helps you. Take it easy on yourself. =)

I try to save when it comes to my own leisure (with 1 or 2 allowances now and then to pamper myself, this is after all a marathon, not a 100m race)

but when it comes to my family, i try not to save.

When i was not having much money, i go for value for money for my family.

when i am doing much better, i go for the luxury part for my family.

For myself, I am fine with simple stuff in life.

Friends are the tricky part. Sometimes your friends will ask you out to go for expensive dinners and drinks.

I find the best, and easy way is to be direct. Tell them you are on a strict yearly budget and prefer something easy on the wallet. If these friends are really important to you, of course you can meet them more regularly and pamper yourself a little

If they are not important, doesn't matter if they refuse to go down on their budget, just skip the meeting. ;)​​​