How do I get my fiancée onboard the FI route? - Seedly
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Anonymous

Asked on 02 Jul 2020

How do I get my fiancée onboard the FI route?

Hi there,

I have been a fan of the FI community (Following/reading Seedly/reddit and other financial websites) for a few years now and I’m really onboard the FI route.

I would like to invest and grow my wealth so that I will not be a slave to my job. That I am able to do anything I want in the future.

My partner, do not have any knowledge of wealth accumlation, investing or even insurance, but believes that by the time she is FI with me, she will be too old to use the cash.

What should I do?

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You need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk as what Yang Teng has mentioned.

When I am advising couples, what is often forgotten; people tend to forget that having a financial plan is not something which they do for themselves. It is something they do for the people around them. To ensure that they are not a financial burden, no matter what. While that might be what you are doing for her, the message might not be construed as such. The message you are giving seems to tilt towards deprivation more than giving. Going to the FI route might not gel with her beliefs because you might be trying to change her lifestyle which she does not want.

You need to adjust your own expectations as well to suit your partner's view on life. Both of you have to give and compromise. That is what a relationship is.

"Men, it is always your fault. Because you chose her."​​​

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YT
YT
Level 9. God of Wisdom
Answered on 02 Jul 2020

Financial issues are one of the top factors that affect a relationship, hence it is critical to have a heart-to-heart sharing on your personal beliefs and financial goals. The other party may not fully agree with your ideology and it is important to come to a common ground or compromise to work towards. For example, rather than following the standard budgeting model, you could perhaps ask your partner to save $100 monthly for an overseas trip in the future. Once comfortable, you can slowly up a notch. Alternative, you could show her the math that it is still not too late to start now. If this is not possible, you could employ the help of a financial advisor as a mediator in your discussion. Do keep an open mind and, communication and honesty are essential.

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