Asked on 10 Mar 2020
I have my parents and one brother, he was cheated by someone and faces debit problems. He ran away from home now because he couldn't handle it. That's why I took on the responsibility and tried to help pay on his behalf, but I'm now facing debit problem of around $5000. It is not possible to let my parents know about this. I can't find the answer and I'm thinking about committing suicide again and again. I've tried to ask for help via GoFundMe but it does not exist in my country.
Hello Cho Yee,
I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. It must be really stressful for you, and I hope you have ways to contact your brother to make sure that he’s safe as well. Please try your best to coax him to come home, and the both of you can try to fix this problem together.
Similar to Charmaine below, I wonder if you owe the money to banks or to someone else? Because if the debt starts to accumulate interest then that might be another problem. ):
If possible, I think you can seek help from Credit Counselling Singapore (ccs.org.sg). They are a non-profit that tries to help Singaporeans with their debt issues. Alternatively like what Sj Oh suggested, try contacting MSF to see if they can help.
I’m not sure if this is also feasible. But if you need to pay off the debt ASAP (let’s say there’s an interest rate), then maybe you can borrow from family first? Perhaps cousins, if you don’t want to let the elders know about it. To me, I believe it’s better to owe money to people you know and trust because they won’t charge you interest. Which will give you more time to raise the money to pay off the debt.
I’m sorry, these are all that I can think of. And please please please do not act on your suicidal thoughts. It is not worth it, your life is worth more than $5000. If you need a listening ear, you can talk to Samaritans of Singapore, or update us on your situation on the Seedly Community!
All the best, I truly hope that your problem will be solved soon.
Hello cho yee,must have been a difficult time for you and your family.
Please approach the nearest family service centre for support and counselling services
Also, Kindly call the 24hour hotline at Samaritans of Singapore 1800-221-4444,if you have persistent suicidal thoughts.
There is a organisation called Ray of hope that help to raise fund for family, do check in with them.
Firstly, you need to remain composed. Whether you realise this or not, committing suicide will not solve the issue. Instead, your parents will have to pick up the mess. From your text, I believe that you are a filial child and won't want your parents to be heartbroken twice.
Now, let's get down to business and see how we can solve the issue. To do this, we need to have a complete understanding on our cashflow. Through this process, we will understand our earning ability and spending habit. Here is a guide to help you: https://www.blog.pzl.sg/understanding-your-personal-cash-flow/
Thereafter, scrutinise and find out how you can increase your income (e.g. part-time work) or reduce your expenses (e.g. reduce miscellaneous spending). This is for the purpose to increase your net cashflow.
Next, create a budget that is capable of helping you to solve the problem. The best way to do this is via automation and this is how I do mine: https://www.blog.pzl.sg/how-to-create-a-monthly-budget/
At this point, we need to know the timeline to repay this $5,000. For instance, it could be to repay it by the end of 5 months. As a result, we need to save $1,000 every month to help your brother. This is when we will create a budget such that $1,000 is automatically channelled to help your brother repay the debt for the next 5 months.
Breaking down the numbers is important so that it will not look intimidating and impossible to overcome. The best is you can break it down into a daily goal so that this will become your motivation everyday.
At the end of the day, this is a problem that money can resolve. Hence, stay calm and focus on ways to increase your income and reduce your expenses so that you can save more money to overcome this issue.
Be strong, your family needs you.
Try to negotiate with the lender to pay via instalments over a period of time.
You should let your parents know as they maybe able to help you with the funds or they could find other ways to raise the money.
Report the cheating case to the police. If you know the person who cheated your brother, then go to his/her employer and family and let them know and see what can be done. You could use social media to find that person too. They have to be responsible for their actions.
Everything can be solved so don't give up. Killing yourself won't resolve the problem. Instead it will bring greater pain and sorrow to your parents and loved ones.
Hi there. May I know what kind of loans or credit issue is that? From banks or money lenders?
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