Sandwich generation stress

Its normal to feel that way. maybe help those who needs it more at this time? if they dont need ur support, and can afford a comfortable living, maybe time to keep them company is good?

Hi, i understand how you feel. this might be a tough situation and stressful one for you. there are some ways to go about dealing with the sandwich generation problem. if you have a sibling, share the financial responsibility with them. its also important to only give what you can... take care of your needs first and do proper planning. talk it out with your spouse as well.

Need to balance out your moral obligation vs reality of your own situation. My parent lacks retirement planning so I need to help her to be a bit more independent by helping her to save money, invest in FD with her approval. I need to be realistic about my financial situation while helping her too.

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Perhaps, you can think of it as adults should be responsible for themselves first and not expecting someone else to help them. So you already did your best to help your parents and yourself.

I share with you what I do.

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My parents don't stay together and they don't have shared finances. One needs lots of time but not so much need for cash. One stays with me and don't need much cash and don't need a lot of care.

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Because they don't need much, I still wanna do my part. I give one about 5% of my salary (gross total), but since she can start withdrawing CPF, it goes into CPF and I get some tax reduction and of course with permission. The other, I manage the finances and because high needs, need to take care of a lot of things (spend a lot of time).

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But because they do not need a lot from me, I told my kids, that since their grandparents gave me the gift of financial freedom to care for them, I will build my own finances so that they (my children) do not have to take care of me financially when I am old. In fact I told them that when I am old and I need people to care for me, I will be able to pay them a living income so that if they choose to care for me, they are not worse off. Which is why it motivates me to build my passive income. I see it as passing forward.

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And why it dawn on me to do that. Because my own grandmother, although she had many kids, during her last days, when she needed care, no one stood out, not even her paternal grandchildren. Of course some were very young so they couldn't. And I had the luxury of time then so I took care of her. But that came at a cost because I lost that period of income. And coupled with my retrenchment, I actually lost a lot of income. But then, even that, when young enough, you can come back.

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From my grandma, I learnt that time and money ready, is freedom to express your love.

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Hope you are encouraged. The journey is fun and dull at the same time but use that opportunity to coach your kids.