Parents vs partner

Very sensitive question but it must be done. It is best done using logical approach, with facts and objectivity. So you need to present the numbers to your partner and the future plans.

I currently give 10% of my salary to my parents but its mostly out of financial obligation as they are still making instalments for house etc. The rule is simple, if you feel that this portion stretches your budget for the wedding plans, have a discussion with the parents and seek help from other siblings if they are able to cover first, and you can start sending money to your parents once your financials recover (wedding bills settled, downpayment for house done - which is the bigger part of the expenditure). After that, I would say its manageable.. assuming you dont get a car and if you plan for a kid thats a progressive 'payment' so your next big purchase would be the maternity financials which may still be doable.

Treat it as “us vs the numbers,” not “you vs me”: start by saying you respect that supporting their parents is non-negotiable, then share your feelings without blame (“I’m feeling anxious about how this affects our BTO/wedding timeline”), and pivot quickly into planning (“Can we map out a plan around the $ 800 so we can still hit our goals?”). Keep it practical by agreeing on a budget split for joint goals vs personal commitments, set a realistic timeline with options, and revisit it every 6–12 months plus choose a calm time to talk so it doesn’t turn into a fight.

Not frame it as "your family vs our future" — instead, sit down together with actual numbers (BTO savings, wedding costs etc.) and let the math speak for itself. Keep it collaborative, like "how do we make both work?" rather than putting them on the defensive. Maybe explore if siblings can chip in, or agree to revisit the amount when big milestones hit. At the end of the day, the goal isn't to stop the support - just to make sure your future together gets equal priority too.