facebookI used to be a stay-at-home mum, but I'm going through a divorce. Is there any advice on how I can make it as a single working mum? - Seedly

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Anonymous

07 Jun 2019

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I used to be a stay-at-home mum, but I'm going through a divorce. Is there any advice on how I can make it as a single working mum?

I have about 10k of savings, and will be staying with my brother temporarily. He has his own family, so I don't want to take up his space for too long. My daughter is turning 4, and I currently only have a diploma in Business Admin

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First and foremost, I suggest you try to get a lawyer. If you cant afford, try legal aid bureau. Lawyers are qualified to advise you best. Below are my suggestions only, pls do your owb calculations. With that in mind:

  1. Get custody of your daughter.

  2. Tell the judge you need a place to raise your daughter. Therefore, u need the flat to be transferred to you. Note got 2 options under cpf for property - sale versus a mere transfer. Here i am talking about transfer, not sale. Transfer other than by way of sale means you dont have to come up with money for buying over his share of the flat. This is possible subj to hdb and cpf approval. It is a bit complicated so you may want to look at cpf website. If possible, try to get ex husband to pay all future loan instalments, and make his own refunds to cpf.

If he is unable to refund cpf, you can also have the house transferred to you without having to make cpf refunds to ur husbands cpf (subject to cpf and hdb approval). But in the future if u sell again, cpf refunds need to be made to your own account. Amount to refund will be both u and ur husbands unrefunded cpf, WITH interest.

EDIT: i found the cpf link. Look under division of cpf-related assets in matrimonial proceedings.
https://www.cpf.gov.sg/Members/FAQ/schemes/othe...

  1. Monthly maintenance for you and your daughter. Alternatively, ask the judge to require ex spouse to bear your daughters' education fees until tertiary level. That will be another load off your mind.

  2. If you're forced to choose between having a monthly maintenance and having the flat transferred to you WITHOUT or with MINIMAL OUTSTANDING LIABILITIES (e.g. ex spouse will bear the loan instalments), suggest you take the flat instead of maintenance. The importance of having a secure place to stay CANNOT be underestimated. If you end up not having a residence, you will need to set aside money every month for either rental or servicing instalments on your own flat, and that will just eat up any monthly maintenance u will get.

Not only that, rental, while cheap, is basically money spent that you will never see again. That is unlike a flat which you can sell some time in the future. You are not accumulating assets at all - you are basically just spending money just to have somewhere to rest your head. Plus you are at the MERCY OF THE LANDLORD who will DEFINITELY increase rental cos of sg's property market now. There will be no feeling of security and you will constantly be worrying at the back of your mind about potentially losing your home.

All the best.

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Can't say I would know how you're feeling or what you're going through, but what I can say is don't let your education stop you from providing the best for your daughter!

The bad times WILL past and when it does, it'd be worth it.

That said, a diploma in Business Admin is good enough to get you in certain doors. Presumably since you've taken a few years off work, I'd suggest looking at utitising your SkillsFuture credits to semi get you back on track!

Good luck!

I am sorry to hear what u are going through.

I think your current focus should be on your divorce...

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