facebookI met my potential girlfriend to be at work, and we are in the same department. While our workplace does not discourage couples, I'm wondering if one of us should still leave the company? - Seedly

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Anonymous

23 May 2020

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I met my potential girlfriend to be at work, and we are in the same department. While our workplace does not discourage couples, I'm wondering if one of us should still leave the company?

I don't want to be one of those couples who bring work home in the future.

Discussion (10)

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I think there are both pros and cons to working together in the same company. Firstly, you will can see each other more often and spend more time together. This is a luxury many couples do not have!! Also, you can relate to each other more when sharing about your concerns from work because both of you understand the company and the environment, and may be able to provide better advice.

Yes, it would suck to bring work home but I think this won't happen if y'all set out boundaries in your relationship to not do it! However, yes I admit it is hard. Working on the same project together, it would be tempting to talk about work all the time and even cause arguments if your ideas clash professionally.

Ultimately, I think a relationship should not be the reason why you leave a company and sacrifice a career that you actually enjoy. There should be ways to work around it :)

I donā€™t see a reason why either of you has to quit the company yet because:

  1. You guys are not even dating yet!

  2. Your companyā€™s HR policy doesnā€™t prevent people from dating one another (but you should check if HR policy allows married couple to be in the same department because may have conflict of interest, if this is intended to be a serious relationship)

  3. Iā€™m assuming both of you are mature enough to not be venting work anger on each other (or you guys wonā€™t be dating each other)

  4. If you succeed in making this girl your girlfriend, you should discuss this with her and make a decision with her consideration instead of brainstorming this and try to tell her that quitting is the best option (vice versa)

Before you think so far into the problem, I would suggest you think about the following instead:

A. Will she really turn from ā€œpotentialā€ to ā€œofficialā€ (otherwise youā€™re just wasting time daydreaming)

B. What is your goal for this relationship? Marriage? Or steady first then see how? (See Point 2)

c.Do you know where to draw the line between work and personal at your workplace. E.g. donā€™t spend too much time a day skype-ing her, donā€™t do too much skinship

D. If you can ā€œbring work homeā€ or not. If you can do it, the chances of her doing it will be much lower because she will reflect what you do.

E. Can you work with her professionally if this relationship doesn't work out?

You can hope for the best for the relationship but be prepared for the worst too. If you canā€™t be prepared, I would suggest to approach with caution. Things may get ugly if it doesnā€™t work out.

Hope this helps.

View 1 replies

For a relationship to work, I think the couple should not be restricting/limiting each other in any way! Both should still be able to function as individuals! Try to work towards that and maybe you'll be happier as a couple too :)

Jeff Yeo

12 Dec 2018

amateur Social contributor at School of social sharing

I think being a couple is not a good reason to leave the company !

There is nothing wrong going to work where your love one is at. Unless there is already an issue with the current model.

Steph Yeo

12 Dec 2018

Auntie Uncle Whisperer at Agency for Integrated Care

Potential gf to be? Means still dating only la.

If you decide to go serious, make sure both of you...

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