facebookI'm in uni, and I started to have way more ambitions, like starting my own start-up. M friends are not very supportive. all they want to do is party/complain. Should I stop hanging out with them? - Seedly

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Anonymous

23 May 2020

Random

I'm in uni, and I started to have way more ambitions, like starting my own start-up. M friends are not very supportive. all they want to do is party/complain. Should I stop hanging out with them?

They are my close friends and we used to hang out almost everyday.

Now I often attend talks and seminars, and they keep complaining that I don't hang out with them anymore

Discussion (11)

What are your thoughts?

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Are they still your close friends? (It's been 2 years)

If I were in your shoes, I would spend lesser time hanging out with them. Similar to what Summer has mentioned earlier, "we are the average of the 5 people" we spend the most time with.

Spend time with friends who encourage and support you, give honest constructive feedback, share similar interests, values and priorities with you. ​​​

I think it is important to understand that on the road to your dream career, there will always be people who do not understand you. That is okay, because you need to understand that people have different priorities and we need to respect that. It would be unwise to just cut them off, just because they do not support you in this matter.

You should try to let them know about what you think, explain to them what their support will mean to you and tell them how much you appreciate them as friends. I'm sure as your good friends, they would be able to understand.

I read from somewhere that your income is the average income of your 5 closest friends.

It is important to have people around you with the same drive and aspirations, who can support you and help another to achieve greater things. It is good on you to have the ambition to do what you want despite what your friends say. I would suggest you going out and trying to find more of these sort of friends who can push you to become better.

However, it does not mean you abandon your old friends. These are the friends who can provide you with something else, like emotional support and the feeling of stability. With them, you can talk about more trivial things and have fun, instead of the serious business talk haha

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Just because you guys have different aspirations/priorities right now, doesn't mean you can't stay as friends. If you only surround yourself with certain type/group of friends, you will end up with a very very narrow world view imo. If they are your close friends, i am sure they will understand if you explain your absence to them nicely. Who knows? Maybe you will be the #influencer within the clique, and all of you will go for seminars/talks together eventually :)

Andy Sim

26 Feb 2020

HR Professional at a Financial Institution

Truly close friends do not need to hang out everyday. Those who need to, will eventually die out.

Y...

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