What can you do if your parent has zero savings, no plan for retirement and doesn’t seem to care?

64 yo single mom (yoga instructor) has ZERO savings and absolutely no plan for retirement. Doesn’t seem to seem to care as she spends all her money shopping and lives month on month. Help.

I have tried for years and years to talk about retirement and simply saving. Mom earns 5K/month. Has below 5K in the bank. Has a warehouse rental of $900/month which over the past 15 years since divorce has cost $162K. Doesn’t use items in warehouse and refuses to sell items.

I am highly anxious about her situation as she seems to have 0 regard for her retirement and 0 plan for it. When asked to save, she responded, “what if I die tomorrow?”. I.e. saving money will be for nothing. I’m 32 and am afraid she will be a great burden for my future when I want to start my own family. She has spent $7K+ since December on apparel alone.

I am lost for what can be done to help this situation when she does not seem to care. Yet, I don’t wish for this to be a burden.

I even called her financial planner to ask how mom is to retire, he paused for a long while not knowing how to answer.

Discussion (21)

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Stephen Ng

17 Apr 2021

I believe she has a CPF account which should have some savings in it over the years of work. Perhaps you can advise her to make regular voluntary contributions to her RA and also help her by making contributions to her account too, so she can still tap on a stream of passive income when she eventually stops working.

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Sandra

17 Apr 2021

Just don't care. Yolo and live your own life to the fullest.

Since she chose the yolo life, if things screw up, then she has to bear the consequences of her own decision. Why should her children be made to bear the fallout from her poor decision making? Isn't she old enough to be a responsible adult already?

Screw filial piety. It's a retarded and outdated Chinese mentality that is enshrewed in the minds of older SG Chinese generation, especially the lower classes which are less educated. Most of these boomers weaponise filial piety as a misplaced sense of value, to guilt trip their children into fulfilling whatever unreasonable and absurd demands of theirs.

Reminds me of my divorced and uneducated mum who demanded me to give her monthly allowance and all expenses paid holiday overseas when i first started working after grad, and i was already footing her house monthly mortgage and also insurance premiums back then. She think money grow on trees LOL

Just heck and live your own happy life. Let them drown in their own shit if they mess up. If they come with you for unreasonable demands, just tell them to go screw themselves. Cut off contact if necessary. Don't have to feel guilty about it.

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