Asked by Anonymous
Asked on 17 Jun 2019
Hi, my boyfriend of 6 months asked if i can be his guarantor for his bond. His family isn’t able to help as the guarantor needs to have 16k in the bank account. He doesn’t have anyone else to ask. He said that if i do not wish to put my name down as the guarantor, i can ‘loan’ him the $ and he’ll transfer it to his mother or sister and they’ll be his guarantor.
Appreciate any advice, thank you.
Great question! Must be quite a troubling dillemma and I hope you eventually choose what's best for you.
A few things for you to think about:
What stage of your relationship are you in?
Will your turning him down change your relationship? What's the dynamics between the both of you?
Are you already planning for your future? Settling down etc. If yes, this means you can more likely trust him with 16K
How's your personal finance planning as a couple? Are you comfortable having conversations about money?☔️
The part about 'transferring' to his mother or sister got me a bit puzzled, because ultimately you'll still be the one with the money to lose anyway, even if not in name.
For formalities' sake and to protect yourself just in case, I'd suggest you make sure all transfers of money be documented properly with labels and make sure things are written down in a traceable manner. Cynical or not, these are the kinds of records you will need in desperate times. 🌚
If I put myself in your shoes, I'd imagine as such -
Worst case scenario: You'd be left 16K poorer with a huge imaginary slap in the face and most likely single. Also, if that 16K is/was whatever you had in your bank, then you'd best be prepared to have someone you know you can turn to for money to build yourself back up during the period of absolute broke-ness. (Hello, parents👨👩👧)
Ideal outcome: Boyfriend fulfils his bond and returns you your money in due time, case closed.
All the best! ⚡️
See all 5 comments
21 Jun 2019
Hopefully I’m still in time to answer.
DO NOT BE A GUARANTOR for boyfriend. Based on actual experiences I encountered from my friends and family. They all have suffered, not just on monetary terms.
On the other hand, a person should always spend within his limit. If he can’t do it himself, why must he insist on it? Are the returns on the bond guaranteed or low risk?
It’s just super suspicious. You might lose more than just that $16k. Might as well keep it for own emergency/family/future needs etc.
This sounds very dodgy. First off did he tell you what is the bond about? Did he show you the documentations? It sounds like he wanted to "get your help" one way or another and I'd recommend you to tell him that you're not comfortable or not in the financial position in anyway to help.
If his love for you is real and mature; he'd understand it. If not, it's not worth betting your future for it. (To have $16k bond means the liability is either that amount or higher).. and interests accumulates fast (if applicable).
Do not loan him the money under any circumstances. If it is for a legit reason he shouldn't have any issues getting loans for studies whatsoever; unless he's already having a bad credit.
What is the guarantee for? Sounds somewhat dodgy, but if I was a scammer, I would want a guarantee of 30k or more LOL.
If the guarantee is for a scholarship or employment type of service bond, then depending on the level of relationship, I dont see a major risk.
Transfer to his family on the other hand I think is a no-no.
No matter who.. Better dont.. You wont know what will happen when time goes by. There will always be a risk being a guarantor. When come to money issue, will be very sensitive too.