I earn x3 of my bf but he insists to "overspend" his salary on me and refuses to stop cause he wants to keep up with me. How do I tell him nicely that he can't keep up? - Seedly
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Anonymous

Asked 3w ago

I earn x3 of my bf but he insists to "overspend" his salary on me and refuses to stop cause he wants to keep up with me. How do I tell him nicely that he can't keep up?

Me: O levels. Work almost daily, up to 16hrs/day (ft/pt/freelance/etc) paid off and now I "live a good lifestyle" not crazy rich Asian

Bf: Uni grad, Job hopped and got his "first job" (a 9-5) 3 yrs ago

Was introed by a friend. We hit it off. Didn't think money needed to be mentioned then

He can't keep up with my lifestyle. I don't blame him but he buys me things he can't afford? He also poor thing cuz he knows I'm used to being pampered. My main concern now is his future... Can't save what u spend

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janedoe
janedoe
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered 3w ago

I think the best way is to tell him your concerns, have a mature and open conversation about it. If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with him, he cannot possibly be keeping up with this forever.

Let him know that you do not need to be pampered. That while you appreciate the gesture, you are able to afford such luxuries on your own. (The worse thing is to make him feel like he is spending on you yet you dont appreciate it) If he wants to spend on you, tell him that he can do so once in a while, not all the time. Tell him that you see a future with him, that you want to buy a house with him, that you want kids with him, and this future is only possible if you both can afford it. ​​​

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Ninja
Level 6. Master
Answered 2w ago

Do a breakup.

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Tell him to "buy" things that is necessary like house etc

And to do that will need to save money first.

Or probably have him to tell you why he wants to spend so much on you and his rationale. See how you can correct it.

I make videos about interesting stuff at youtube here​​​

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Sharon
Sharon
Level 5. Genius
Answered 2w ago

Just thinking aloud if this is an insecurity issue due to the huge disparity in income levels. Or maybe due to his upbringing, he feels it's only right for a man to take up the bill.

Good to have a heart-to-heart talk and find out the underlying (real) reason.

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Wilson Nid A Break
Wilson Nid A Break
Level 8. Wizard
Answered 3w ago

Give him a max budget for him to spend per date/bday/holiday etc. Anything more than than, you reject/reimburse

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Rick Yu
Rick Yu
Level 3. Wonderkid
Answered 3w ago

Talk to him about his own future first before discussing about your future with him. You can stop him from buying things for you. If you do not mind that he is earning less than you then carry on. Otherwise, work together with him to increase his income(not just from his job). Maybe from investing, side business etc.

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Tee Hon Eng
Tee Hon Eng
Level 4. Prodigy
Answered 3w ago

You can consider discussing with him about the future plans. For example, housing. Allow him to understand that you have some goals that you would like to achieve and such goals requires funding. Since his income may be fixed, he would like to stop spend so much on current lifestyle in order to achieve that goal together.

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