facebookI earn x3 of my bf but he insists to "overspend" his salary on me and refuses to stop cause he wants to keep up with me. How do I tell him nicely that he can't keep up? - Seedly

Anonymous

08 Jun 2021

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I earn x3 of my bf but he insists to "overspend" his salary on me and refuses to stop cause he wants to keep up with me. How do I tell him nicely that he can't keep up?

Me: O levels. Work almost daily, up to 16hrs/day (ft/pt/freelance/etc) paid off and now I "live a good lifestyle" not crazy rich Asian

Bf: Uni grad, Job hopped and got his "first job" (a 9-5) 3 yrs ago
Was introed by a friend. We hit it off. Didn't think money needed to be mentioned then

He can't keep up with my lifestyle. I don't blame him but he buys me things he can't afford? He also poor thing cuz he knows I'm used to being pampered. My main concern now is his future... Can't save what u spend

Discussion (10)

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Angeline Teo

01 May 2020

Calculator at The Internet

Awwww this is more common than you think.....

its more difficult to convince your bf that he can't catch up (men and their egos).....

its easier to tone down your own eating habits, spending so that he can match you lower.

may not be a bad thing.

and if you want to spend, maybe cook a reason, like oh its your birthday, can we go for a holiday where i paid for the air tickets and hotels since i haven't take good care of you because of my long work hours for a loooong time...

Colin Lim

28 Apr 2020

Financial Services Consultant at Colin Lim

You got have a heart to heart talk with him? You should let him know about the future...like marriage, house, children...

ask him to start financial planning or reach out to me on how to allocate his income on priorities.
Financial Planning 101: Allocating your income

Priority is πŸ—. Set your priorities and then how many % or how much go into your priority.

1) 5% to 10% of annual income to insurances.

2) 20% of annual income to emergency funds.(based on income/expenses.)(6 to 12 months)

3) 30% to 40% of annual income to expenses.

4) 10% of annual income to holiday trips.

5)25% to 30% of annual income to savings and investments.

This is my priority.. Number 1 priority is what i believe... Insurances..life and health is a must to have when I start work.

Lee Shiyun

28 Apr 2020

Financial Services Consultant at AIA Singapore Private Limited

Maybe you guys can have a talk and find out why he sees the need to keep up with you. At the same time you can also let him know you are capable of providing for yourself and assure him that you do not need expensive gifts to feel pampered. Many people have the misunderstanding that the true value of the gift is determined by its price tag. The truth is what matters most is the effort and thought behind the gift.

At the same time, it is never-ending keeping up with others. Better and more expensive gifts will keep coming up, we will never see the end of it. We just have to learn to be contented with what we have and spend on what we need. There is no point in trying to keep up with trend, splurging all our savings on things we have then end up with an empty bank.

Hope you guys will have a good talk and a clearer idea of what to expect in future :)

Cedric Jamie Soh

20 Apr 2020

Director at Seniorcare.com.sg

You can start by reducing you expenses and allocating more to your retirement, savings and let him know you like to prepare for the future.

That will help to nudge him to planning for the future.

if not, well, you have to talk to him open heartedly on why money is a big thing for couples and marriage. :)

Ernest Yeam Wee Leong

24 Mar 2020

Content Creator at www.youtube.com/c/JustBeingErnest

Tell him to "buy" things that is necessary like house etc

And to do that will need to save money fi...

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