Asked by Anonymous

How do you deal with loneliness in your career?

Especially when you somehow became the scapegoat.

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  • Junus Eu
    Junus Eu
    Top Contributor

    Top Contributor (Mar)

    Level 6. Master
    Answered 4w ago

    I guess there are two separate but related things in play here.

    Loneliness: Firstly, it might be worth distinguishing if you are feeling lonely, or feel alone. I can understand how having real friends at work could make all the difference. If not, you can try to schedule lunches with interest groups during lunch break - this is especially so if you are in the CBD area.

    Becoming the scapegoat: Now this is probably the more serious issue here. What is the reason why you are being made the scapegoat? Is it because there is some degree of being ostracised here?

    Cheer up and I hope the situation has resolved! At the end of the day, a job is a job (meant to be replaceable), and if you feel that the work you do is not meaningful enough to keep you there, then find something else. It's no point jeopardizing your mental health and physical wellbeing over a job you hate - sometimes the repercussions could be expensive.

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  • Jonathan Chia Guangrong
    Jonathan Chia Guangrong, Fund Manager at JCG Fund
    Level 6. Master
    Answered on 17 Oct 2018

    Sorry to hear about this. I've been there in the same boat before, and going through a similar period somewhat. I've become used to it, and actually prefer being alone as compared to being in a boisterous crowd. Allows me to have some me time to think.

    In the end, a job is just a job. Move on to another role, either externally, or an internal transfer if possible, if you deem that it's too toxic to function productively in your current role.

    As a NS friend once told me, job = just over broke. Have an exit strategy, and perhaps start thinking about retiring early and get out of the rat race. This will involve some planning of cos, and not something that can be done overnight.

    Find an activity to take your mind off work. Indulge in some hobbies. Cheer up. Don't let things that happen at work destroy what you are setting out to accomplish. This is a reminder to myself as well.

    All the best, and God bless.

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  • Tee-Ming Chew
    Tee-Ming Chew, Co-founder at Seedly
    Level 5. Genius
    Answered on 17 Oct 2018

    Sorry to hear about your case..

    Just want to say that if you feel that your work environment is toxic and you don't forsee yourself staying for long, I would encourage you to find ways to "upgrade" yourself and look for other job opportunies elsewhere.

    All the best!

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  • Charmaine Lim Xiaomei
    Charmaine Lim Xiaomei
    Level 4. Prodigy
    Answered on 17 Oct 2018

    Abit crude but I would like to think that everyone is working to pay bills and having good colleagues / work environment is a bonus.

    However if this is affecting your health / personal life and you have better opportunities elsewhere, then you might want to explore a change!

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  • Yong Kah Hwee
    Yong Kah Hwee
    Level 6. Master
    Answered on 16 Oct 2018

    If you are truly unhappy in your job, you might want to consider switching to another company... Easier said than done, but i believe you'd be much happier :)

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