How do I separate work stress from my personal life?

I believe that many here working in high-stress jobs can relate to this! Personally, I have experienced it and have taken stress home, so much so that my loved ones can feel the tension once I get back from work, or meet them for dinner.

• Why spread that negativity? What I have realised over time is to be kind to yourself and your loved ones. One useful way to do this is to constantly remind yourself that if work is already causing negativity in your life, it does not make sense for you to further spread that negativity to family. Of course, it helps if family members can identify that the reason why you are cold is not because of them, but because you are affected at work.

• Compartmentalize. Some people are better at this than others. Some could even argue that men are better at it than women. Underlying this is basically the awareness that work is work, and your non-work relationships should be kept separate.

• Get another perspective. Be open with your family members. It could even be helpful for you to talk to them about work issues in some cases - I find that some of my colleagues unwind by telling their spouses about their issues at work. Sometimes, it is very useful to have an alternate perspective on the issue. You might find that an issue that feels very troubling to you might actually not be when you consider it from another point of view.

Underpinning all of this, is that your work is not your life. Allowing your job to affect your mood for weekends is probably not the way to go. Imagine if you're 80 and you look back on your life realizing you spent your weekends in misery because of that job/annoying boss/political colleagues - not such a great life to look back on, isn't it? Treasure your time :)

It's great that you recognise that the stress is spilling over. Does your organisation provide support such as counselling? If so, understand that there's no shame in seeking professional help. Or consider one of the publicly available channels.

Personally, I find that compartmentalizing helps. Also, arrest the situation when you realise that you're being cold and not yourself. Acknowledging it out loud is uncomfortable, but sometimes does help. Try saying "I'm sorry, it must be the stress of work. But I'm here now." Also helps those around you understand your situation.