Are you alright with your girlfriend or wife earning more?

Yes, salary is a function of the demand and supply of skills in the labor market. I don't see how gender should be part of this equation.

Perhaps different from the older generations when it was less common for women have a long studying and working career, but it really shouldn't matter at all. More combined couple income is a good thing too!

This question is like an onion. The deeper you probe, the more self reflection that is required. If it is my girlfriend, it shouldn’t matter, as we are only dating. What’s hers is hers. What’s mine is mine. If it is my wife, it can go two ways. If I still have my dating attitude after getting married of what’s hers is hers, what’s mine is mine, then I need to take a closer look at why I bothered to get married.

If I got married to join as partners for life, then the focus should shift to what is good for “us”. The “I” in the relationship necessarily moves to the background. If the “I” is of much less importance that the “us”, the question isn’t hard to answer.

There are two reasons a guy would not be alright with his wife earning more than him. (1) His friends/family mock him. (2) The culture he grew up with, hence his personal life values. If it’s reason #1, he should ask the friends/family why it’s a problem if it brings in more income to the family. In that context, it’s no different than choosing investment A over investment B because A has higher returns. If the friends/family cannot accept that, then THEY are struggling with reason #2 in their own lives.

If it’s reason #2, the husband needs to ask himself what is best for the family. Given who are members of this forum, I would guess the men would want the additional income. By accepting that decision, they then have not choice but to suck it up and accept the situation for what it is. What’s more important, to lose face or financial security?

I know of MANY guys whose wives make more than they do. I am one of them. When we had kids, she wanted to stay home and take care of them and I wanted the big job with long hours and travel. We wound up with just the opposite. I’m an entrepreneur and my hours are relatively flexible compared to hers, so I manage our home. We both manage the kids. They are growing up well and we have a happy marriage. But net net, I had to suck it up, accept reality for what it was and do some things I didn't like doing. Life is often like that. Are we facing the facts or living in a dream? I chose my family's security and prosperity over selfishness and I’m better off for it.

Personally I am alright if my female partner earns more than I do. I feel the more important aspect is that both parties continue to improve and upgrade themselves in their chosen walks of life. Both continue to improve and grow into better versions of themselves. Salary is just one of the many means to measure this improvement. Even if a partner is a housewife/househusband, they can still be upgrading themselves in their interests or contributing more effectively to the family.

Yes! it would be great if efforts could be focused on building a firm partnership to journey through life and working towards and achieving on common goals. In the ideal world, this would probably work if there is no issue having basic needs met and if both individuals are of growth mindset..