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Anonymous

Edited 26 Sep 2021

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What should I do when my parents are demanding $1000 per month from me and I still have to pay their bills?

What should I do when my parents are demanding $1000 per month from me and I have to separately fund their insurance savings plan of approx $400 per month on top of utilities bill, telco bill etc. My dad is still earning approx $1200 per month and my mum does not work and insist on not working.

Recently I found out that they have a total cumulative of 7 savings plan and it constitute a significant amount of their monthly expenses. But they are not willing to terminate them no matter how many quarrels we have. I am already giving them approx 40% - 50% on average of my take home pay.

I really want to apply for a house and start a family. But with their demands, I could not save up despite working for many years already. I have to pay for all my personal expenses like meals, transportation, insurance and healthcare as well. Is it really unreasonable for me to ask them to cut down on their allowance and cut down their no of savings plan? They still want to lead a life of enjoyment (I.e eating proofer, breadtalk bread on a regular basis instead of sunshine or gardenia bread, take away for most of the meals instead of cooking, getting so many policies that they cannot fund instead of the basic ones like healthcare, critical illness)

And they kept saying that I am not filial but I already give all that I can to them to the point that I don't even see a future for myself and with my partner. Salary is stagnant yet their expenses is increasing exponentially. I am really tired and want to give up on everything. Can anyone suggest to me what to do and am I really doing really badly as their only child?

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Robin

28 Sep 2021

Administrator at SG

First and foremost, please don't give up on yourself. Your personal wellbeing should be prioritised. You cannot do more to help others if your wellbeing is compromised.

See how you can map out everything in pen and paper and negotiate with your parents. Sometimes, traditional thinking can be the obstacle but as long as you explain in a reasonable manner, they will eventually come to accept it.

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