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Anonymous

16 Nov 2019

βˆ™

Property

Need some help with our financial situation for our BTO loan starting in 2022?

Currently, my bf is contributing $1000, abt1/3 of his take-home pay to a joint ac with his mom that he doesn't have access to. I asked him to reduce to $500 and instead start saving this amt in his personal ac. Once we stabilize, he can readjust the amt. He is giving purely out of filial piety. I want him to prioritize our future but he feels that his mum shouldn't be "affected" and would prefer to go find a better paying job. Reasonable to ask to channel $ back?

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Pang Zhe Liang

16 Nov 2019

Lead of Research & Solutions at Havend Pte Ltd

The best way to handle this situation is for your boyfriend and you to sit down together and have an open discussion about your future. Put emotions aside (while not easy), discuss and evaluate the situation based on logic. Here are some steps to help you:

  1. Plan your cashflow and monthly budget

I wrote a post about it and may help in both of your planning: https://www.blog.pzl.sg/how-to-create-a-monthly...

Once the budget has been setup, we will know the cashflow to work with.

  1. Housing Expenditure

Have a proper breakdown on the list of expenses for the house, e.g. downpayment, renovation, furniture (item by item). From there, you will know the exact amount that both of you need for your goal.

  1. Work on your goal together

Divide the number into the number of months left before you get your key. Then split the amount based on your affordability from step 1.

If the amount is sustainable, then it is fine.

If the amount is not sustainable, exhaust all possibilties to increase net cash flow, e.g. increase income, reduce expenses.

If need be, suggest for your boyfriend to talk to his mother about the current situation. I believe that his mother loves his son as much as you love him. At the end of the day, she will help in whichever way she can.

At the end of the day, we must remember - giving money to our parents is to repay our gratitude. Once an amount has been set, it is a benchmark that is difficult to reduce without questions. Of course, I believe things will work out so long as it makes sense.

It is impossible for anyone to evalaute on whether it is reasonable or not. Ultimately, our ruler for measurement is different - everyone has different priorities, needs, and wants.

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