My wife wants to have kids but I don't. I know kids can bring joy and complete the family but how can we have kids and expand the family when our finances are not stable?

Honestly, there is no "right time" to have kids. Just work out a plan to put aside money monthly for delivery and initial cost of buying baby stuffs and you are good to go. I know you want to give your family a comfortable life by being financially stable but you'll also be surprised how much your partner is willing to sacrifice for the family, even if he/she is not contributing to the family income. Remember, money is just a tool - family and relationships are way more important than that. #truestory

Hi

I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm gonna share a story about my friend.

When my friend just finish his diploma, his girlfriend wanted to settle down too but he wasn't keen because financially not ready. This was always the case for we guys. We want to be able to provide, instead of getting married without being financially stable.

They got into fights, almost broke up. I happen to know both of them, so I listen to both their reasoning, what each side wanted and the reason behind.

Long story short, they got married even when the guy doesn't have a job. The girlfriend which is his wife now said during that time, that they are a family, it is a partnership, it is not a one man's family only. She is willing to work together with him to build a family, and they been having distance relationship for over 7 years, so if he's not gonna marry her then, she's was so upset and gonna break up with him. He on the other hand, had the same reason we guys always do, wanna be financially stable, wanna be able to provide because its inbuild within us guys. But he wasn't gonna give her up. So in the end, he understood where she came from and partnership means that they both decided to work hand in hand to build a family from ground zero.

I believe for your case is the same, where we guys all wante to be able to provide for wife and kids, to provide them with the best of our abilities. To give them everything they wanted. In the mean time, your wife want kids because it's life natural progression, she may not see not being financially stable as a major issue. It is indeed not a major issue. You are the main breadwinner, but not the only breadwinner. I'm sure she would be happy to go work or somehow find means and ways even at home to earn $ to support and provide for the kids, together with you.

Living in singapore, we no longer have the luxury of having single income. It is very difficult and dangerous to only have single income. In the event of job loss. There's no backup for family income.
However, let's Look at it from another angle, we tends to see the big picture but sometimes, we guys lost track of the tiny details, the scenery along the way that is beautiful. A child born innocently, lovely and beautiful, because God made it that way, to be love by many. Many couples would love to have a child but due to unforeseen reason, they couldn't. If God were to give you a child, would He not provide you or your wife the ability to provide for the child ?

Don't worry about finances, it's not as if you're gonna start with 8 or 10 kids like the big family in the news. It's only one. Let me share with you a secret I obseve of my siblings, friends , relative around me with family. The child will bring his/her own fortune. When the child is born, your friends and family will shower him or her with gifts, with vouchers, with support, with love most of all! I've seen even strangers blessing a family with kids.
After maternity, your wife can go back to work and have the baby at infact care, there are CDA for a start to pay for government child care free, there are startup fee to defer the startup cost, there are fundings support for mid to lower income family. Most of all, together the two of you may work and raise the child in a happy loving family.

Along the way as years pass by, as you both work hard, take up training courses if any sponsor by the company , or make use of skill futures to upgrade , you will have increase income. With that, you can plan for #2 , #3 or even #4 if you wish to have more and love kids and wanted to have a big happy family.

Remember, marriage is a partnership, it takes two hands to clap. You are not alone. Remember what your marriage vows says? You wife is there to take care of you and you're there to take care of her, together supporting each other. If you're both willing, you can always work together and make things happen. Make babies, and raise them well.

All the best! Have a happy marriage and happy family :) ​​​