I really hate my boss, but I can't quit. What should I do?

Hi anon,

firstly, I empathise with you as do many of others who are exepriencing the same thing as you. It's a sucky situation to be in.

I'ld like to ask you some questions back; there is no need for you to reply publicly back but do have a think about it. Sometimes when we deem we "hate" something, it's really our stories that are masking the neutral circumstances.

Background

To give an example, I was asked to do compliance in my second year as an engineer. The story I told myself was that I studied for 4 years as an engineer and this would all be wasted. Fast forward 6 years later, I'm happy to be in compliance. So what really happened?

The neutral circumstance then was that I was asked to do a compliance role. It's not something that is "good" or "bad", it's just a offer for something different. The "story" I told myself was that that my 4 years of education would be wasted. While that may be true, it was doing no good for me. In fact, it was energetically draining. So I asked myself these questions below. While you are reading the questions, think about the stories you are telling yourself.

the Qs

What about your issue do you hate?

Why do you hate it?

How does that make you feel?

How do you want to feel?

What is the story you need to be telling yourself in order to feel that way?

Conclusion

It may be that at the end of the day the only way out of your situation is to leave your job. That is a very real possibility. But there are other options as well- taking another role in the company, speaking to your boss about your situation, even speaking to your colleagues and perhaps tackle the issue as a team. Don't close those doors.

I understand that the economy is not doing very well now. But I also see that you have emergency funds all shored up so kudos to you on that. Be courageous and really evaluate your options.

Here's wishing you all the light that you will need on your journey.​​​

Hi Anon

Sometimes, the pain of dealing with people is more than the pain of the job right? I am really sorry for you. The suggestions given by the many others on this thread are valuable and I shall not repeat them as I won’t do any better.

Just wanted to ask if there is any opportunity for internal transfer if it is a boss issue? This could be viable option, don’t ignore it, rather than going to a new company straightaway.

Lastly, wanted to say that if you are leaving without a job, do still try your best to be on good relationship with your boss as prospective employers will often want to talk to a past supervisor and the last supervisor ideally. So, preserve your bridges to prevent it from biting you back.

All the best! You are tough, after all we survive a pandemic, you can do it!