facebookI make more money than my boyfriend and the salary difference is likely to grow over time (different qualifications). I wonder how other couples face this as well, and any advice for the long haul? - Seedly

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Anonymous

07 Jun 2019

Random

I make more money than my boyfriend and the salary difference is likely to grow over time (different qualifications). I wonder how other couples face this as well, and any advice for the long haul?

I don’t mind this at all, and he has also reassured me that he will continue to be proud of me (rather than be jealous, petty etc). I am confident of this relationship and in him. Really appreciate the feedback and advice here. Thanks!

Discussion (8)

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If the both of your are confident in the r/s then i dont really see why this is an issue? however people do change overtime so best to always be open to discuss if any feelings of unhappiness arise stemming from this. also never bring this fact up in an argument!

HC Tang

07 Jun 2019

Financial Enthusiast, Budgeting at The Society

I have a couple friend in the same situations.

So what they do is that , only a daily basis, they live normally and don't go for things that is too much or beyond what the guy can pay for. Dates/ meals etc will be shared equally, so that it is also fair to the guy (partly this takes care of the guy's feeling) and help him to save for future funds for marriage / wedding / family planning.

On the other hand, since you earn more, save it.

When you guys would like to settle down, you can one shot pay more for the downpayment, CPF, house renovations etc and if you can avoid using CPF and use cash, by all means do so as this will allow more cash kept in both of your CPF for long term earning interest and retirement. Housing is for long term use and both can enjoy and whoever can contribute more contribute more, with more payment settle using cash, both of you can be free without having worry if have enough CPF OA to pay for housing especially on his side. After marriage the guy will have to be the father and do more phsyical work, handyman, cleaning etc, so it's quite balance.

The key is:

1) Always don't spend more than what he can afford (except housing since it is a long term 1 time thing only that both of you and future children can enjoy) , AA style cost sharing for meals, movies, entertainment always. So that it takes care of his income/savings and feeling.

2) Don't outsource everything with $. Purposely ask and make the guy do some of the work to ensure that he is always needed. Like help you to do something. This will instill a sense of purpose and allows him to contribute beyond monetary. It is not about his ego, but more of allow the guy to contribute in another way other than $ to balance out the scale between the 2 of you.

3) Most of all, always ask privately how he thinks / or feel for things that requires to spend $ on so that the both of you will always be in close, good communications and takes care of feeling on both side, that is the key to good relationship..

Finally, I would like to say it is a good thing because higher + lower income also allow a chance for better life and balance can always be achieve in another way, not only $.

Live life ignoring the social norm or what others think or say because the relationship is about the 2 of you and not others. It's not about how others live but about how the 2 of you would like to live.

Cheers! Have a happy Life ! :)

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Jason Sing

24 Sep 2018

School Of Hard Knocks And Life at School Of Hard Knocks And Life

Salary difference is not the issue. Maintaining the relationship in harmony. Trusting and respecting...

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