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Mentorships evolve—know when to move on, stay grateful, and keep the door open.
This post was originally posted on Planner Bee.
Having a mentor can be a gamechanger in both your personal and professional development. Whether you’re navigating the early stages of your career, looking to make a significant life change, or seeking to enhance your skills, a mentor can provide invaluable guidance, support, and insights that can be difficult to find elsewhere.
But what exactly is a mentor, and how can you find one who will help you grow?
Let’s explore the importance of mentorship and how you can build a successful mentor-mentee relationship.
A mentor is someone who has the experience, knowledge, and skills that you aspire to develop. They have walked the path you’re on, or aspire to be on, and are willing to share their insights to help you succeed. Unlike a teacher or coach, who might provide structured learning, a mentor offers personalised guidance based on real-world experiences.
Mentors play a significant role in your personal growth by offering a different perspective on your life choices, helping you to build confidence, and encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone.
They can also serve as role models, showing you how to balance work, family, and personal interests.
For example, if you’re struggling with work-life balance, a mentor who has successfully managed these challenges can provide practical tips and emotional support.
Over the course of your career, a mentor can help you set realistic goals, identify opportunities for advancement, and develop the skills you need to succeed.
They can introduce you to valuable networks, offer constructive feedback on your performance, and even advocate for you when opportunities arise.
Whether you’re considering a job change, seeking a promotion, or wanting to develop leadership skills, a mentor can provide the guidance and support to help you achieve your career aspirations.
Before seeking a mentor, it’s essential to clearly identify your needs and goals. What areas of your life or career do you want to improve? What challenges are you facing, and where could you use some guidance?
Start by conducting a self-assessment. Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, your short-term and long-term goals, and the obstacles you’re currently facing.
Are you looking to develop specific skills, such as leadership or communication? Do you need help navigating a career transition or managing work-life balance? Understanding your needs will help you identify the type of mentor who can best support you.
Set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals for your mentorship. It pays to do so, as it can give you clearer direction and help you know better how to go about achieving them.
For example, if you want to develop leadership skills, a SMART goal might be: “Improve my team management skills by learning from a mentor who has successfully led diverse teams within the next six months.”
Having clear goals will not only help you in finding the right mentor but will also guide your conversations and activities throughout the mentorship.
Singapore offers a wealth of opportunities to connect with potential mentors, whether you’re looking within your industry, community, or educational institutions.
Joining professional associations and networks in your industry is a great way to meet experienced individuals who could become mentors.
Organisations such as the Singapore Human Resources Institute (SHRI), Singapore Computer Society (SCS), and the Institute of Singapore Chartered Accountants (ISCA) often host networking events, seminars, and workshops where you can connect with potential mentors.
Platforms like LinkedIn are powerful tools for finding mentors. You can search for professionals in your field, join relevant groups, and engage with content shared by industry leaders. LinkedIn also allows you to see mutual connections, which can be a great icebreaker when reaching out to potential mentors.
If you’re an alum of a university or educational institution, tap into your alumni network. Many universities, including the National University of Singapore (NUS) and Nanyang Technological University (NTU), have formal mentorship programmes that connect alumni with current students or recent graduates.
Consider joining formal mentorship programmes, such as those offered by the Singapore Mentorship Committee or Mentoring SG. These programs are designed to match mentors with mentees based on specific criteria, ensuring a good fit.
If you’re currently employed, look within your organisation. Many companies in Singapore have internal mentorship programmes that pair junior employees with senior leaders. Even if there isn’t a formal programme, don’t hesitate to approach a respected senior colleague and ask if they would be willing to mentor you.
Once you’ve identified potential mentors, the next step is to approach them. This can be intimidating, but with the right approach, it can also be rewarding.
Before reaching out, do some research on the potential mentor. Understand their background, achievements, and areas of expertise. This will help you tailor your approach and demonstrate that you’ve put thought into why you’re seeking them as a mentor.
When reaching out, be clear and concise about why you’re seeking mentorship and what you hope to achieve. For example, you might say, “I admire your work in specific area, and I’m looking to develop similar skills. Would you be open to a mentorship relationship where I can learn from your experience?”
Acknowledge that the person you’re approaching is likely busy, and be respectful of their time. Suggest a low-commitment initial meeting, such as a coffee chat or a quick call, to discuss the possibility of mentorship.
Authenticity is key when approaching a mentor. Be honest about your goals, challenges, and why you believe they would be the right person to guide you. Mentors are more likely to respond positively if they feel that your request is sincere and well-considered.
Building and maintaining a strong mentor-mentee relationship requires effort from both parties. Here’s how you can nurture this relationship over time:
From the outset, discuss and agree on the expectations for the mentorship. This includes the frequency and format of meetings, the goals you’re working towards, and the level of commitment from both sides.
As the mentee, take the initiative in scheduling meetings and setting the agenda for your discussions. Come prepared with specific topics or questions, and be ready to share your progress since the last meeting.
Regularly express your gratitude for your mentor’s time and advice. A simple thank you, whether in person or through a note, goes a long way in showing that you value their guidance.
Maintain open and honest communication with your mentor. If you’re facing challenges or if your goals have shifted, share this with your mentor so they can offer relevant advice and support.
Read more:__ 8 Tips To Make the Most of Coffee Chats
One of the biggest benefits of having a mentor is the opportunity to leverage their advice and feedback for your growth.
Mentors provide valuable feedback that can help you improve and grow. Be receptive to their advice, even if it’s critical, and take action on it.
For example, if your mentor suggests developing a particular skill, seek out training opportunities or projects where you can apply their advice.
Regularly reflect on the advice and feedback you receive and how it applies to your goals. Be willing to adapt your strategies based on your mentor’s insights.
This not only shows that you’re committed to growth but also encourages your mentor to invest more in your development.
Use the mentorship relationship as a springboard for continuous learning. Beyond the direct advice from your mentor, ask for book recommendations, courses to take, or other resources that can help you build on your skills and knowledge.
Not all mentorship relationships are meant to last forever, and that’s perfectly okay. Knowing when to evolve or end the relationship is an important aspect of the mentorship journey.
If you’ve achieved the goals you set at the beginning of the mentorship, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Discuss with your mentor whether there are new goals to work towards or if it’s time to move on.
Sometimes, the mentorship relationship naturally evolves into a different type of relationship, such as a peer or colleague relationship. If both parties agree, the relationship can continue in a more informal or less structured way.
If you feel that the mentorship is no longer meeting your needs, or if your goals have changed significantly, it might be time to end the relationship. Approach this conversation with gratitude and respect, acknowledging the value the mentor has provided, and discuss how you can both move forward.
Even if the formal mentorship ends, keep the door open for future interactions. You never know when you might cross paths again or when you might need advice in the future.
Having a mentor is one of the most powerful tools for personal and professional growth. They offer wisdom, guidance, and support that can help you navigate challenges, achieve your goals, and reach your full potential. If you haven’t yet explored mentorship, now is an excellent time to start. Good luck!
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