Having a gentle mid-life crisis

I am at this middle age where I see others doing better than me.

Their careers are progressing well, getting more recognition and pay. Then there are others who are making more money and are deemed more successful than I am. Their kids are smarter than mine. Their cars are flashier, their watches have more diamonds than there are numbers.

If I keep on thinking along these lines, I'm quite sure I'll get a mid-life crisis. But here's the thing - that's the cue for me to take a step back and re-evaluate my life so far. The young should and must take over the old, otherwise, society becomes stagnated and takes a backstep and everyone suffers. It's a natural progression for the next generation to step up and eventually take over the previous one. But am I ready for this change? Cognitively, this is rational and logical, but I'm more than just rationality.

I think I have it easier because I don't have colleagues. I work alone and that shields me from a lot of pressure from comparing with others. There's no water cooler gossip about whose kids did better in national exams, no rumours about who got a bigger bonus. My blog saved me too. It allows me to network with many people from different slices of society - some older than I am, some younger. This gives me perspective and also comfort. I think it's good to know friends younger than me so that I can guide them along with life's milestones and share my experiences. Mentor them and guide them so that we can also share their successes vicariously. Friends who are older than me provide me with the reassurance that things will turn out fine, and will help me when I face one of life's obstacles. If I am with my peers only, I'll have a much narrower perspective of life and that can only be bad.

I think it's important to see beyond the material world and find meaning. I mean, I'm middle-aged and have reached the halfway mark of my life, and what have we got to show? People at this age will start to think back and see if they still want to continue wasting the second half of their life doing something that they dislike. If not, the sudden realisation that time is not on their side might force them to do a career switch, become deeply religious or spend more time with their family and loved ones. These are observations that I've made.

For me, I don't have a full-blown mid-life crisis. It's just a gentle realization that the stream of my life is no longer in the white water region, all fast and furious, aggressive and relentless. The time for that has passed and my life-stream is now gently meandering around river banks. It is calm and peaceful. And that's how I hope to see my middle age defined as.

Live long and prosper.