Closing techniques applied to Parenting

Recently I read a book on sales, called SPIN selling by Neil Rackman. It's a pretty good book that talks about the differences between the traditional methods of selling low-value items and high-value items. I read such books because ultimately, we all need to be good salespeople. Either we need to tout our own horns or persuade someone to do certain things, we ought to be able to sell off an idea to anyone.

These days, my young boy starts to get a mind of his own. He seems to realise the theory of the mind, where he discovers that he can form ideas and decision of his own that can be different from others. More and more frequently, he starts to assert his decision onto us, like the times when he doesn't want to go to school or don't want to brush his teeth. That's when I realised that I need to level up my selling and motivational skills. Young children are the worst kind of client because they are irrational, emotional based and acts on instinctual whims. They can be very hard to persuade, so we must resort to trickery lol

I learnt 4 closing techniques from the book. They are:

1) Assumptive closes - this assumes that the sale has already been made, so we ask questions like "Where would you want this product to be delivered?"

2) Alternative closes - this technique reduces the choice of a buyer, both of which are acceptable to a seller. It goes something like this, "Do you want it to be delivered on weekdays or weekends?"

3) Standing-room-only closes - this is the classic scarcity scare tactic. "We only have the last set left and that I have people on the waiting list waiting to buy."

4) Last chance closes - similar to standing-room-only closes, except that it is scarcity principle used on time. Early bird discounts are based on this principle. "The discounted price is valid till today and will go up tomorrow."

5) Order-blank closes - Fills up the customer's answers on an order form even though the buyer didn't indicate that he is buying yet.

The book says that all these tactics work on low-value sales, so it's a kind of pressure closing techniques. Wouldn't work for high-value sales, because those are based on relationship and that's what the rest of the book talks about. But as a parent, I think most negotiations are low-value type, so these should work well. I'll illustrate how I used some of these tactics:

1) Assumptive closes

When my boy doesn't want to go to school. I took his snack box and milk packet to show it to him. I told him that he can eat this in school later in the afternoon. This assumes that he has agreed to go to school, which he hasn't.

2) Alternative closes

When my boy doesn't want to brush his teeth, I'll ask if he wants to brush his teeth here or there. Both options are perfectly acceptable to me, but giving him a choice will allow him to commit to it. He doesn't know that there is another choice, which is not to brush. Fingers crossed if that happens.

3) Standing-room-only closes

When my boy eats too slowly or is distracted by other things when eating, I'll create some competition by trying to steal a bite. That usually creates a sudden urge to eat faster because the food is not only for him, there's another person waiting to eat it (that's me). I know it's evil, stealing food from young children, but hey, it works :)

This can be manipulative, I understand. There is a blurred line between manipulation and motivation. I do that to my students when I teach them too. Basically, the role of a tutor is also to persuade them to do something that they dislike. If I can't make them do that, nothing much can be changed. I see manipulation as changing the behaviour of others in order to gain from it, while motivation is changing the behaviour of others so that they themselves will gain from it. The difference lies in the intention behind the push for behavioural change and who benefits from this change.

It might not be so evil when you know that children also employs such tactics to manipulate parents into doing things that they want!

Live long and prosper.